Since I’m doing Money Mondays every week, I decided to move this Forgiving Fridays series to once per month. Feel free to contribute your own experience and stories on forgiveness and letting go. Simply tag this post & include #ForgivingFridays in your tags.
Below is an audio excerpt on this week’s blog topic, followed by my post + contributions for #ForgivingFridays from this past month!
Here’s a 1-minute audio on this week’s blog topic on relationship—you may get valuable keys by listening! (It’s from an interview with me on forgiveness for the “I’m Awake Now What?” podcast). To listen, click on this graphic:
I had a beautiful experience of forgiveness just this past week.
My partner and I are checking out being together again. (Yay.) We were traveling this week for my birthday, and so we had a lot of togetherness time. 🙂
At one point during the trip, I sensed that he needed distance from me. I was more open than the past to simply being ok with this, i.e., I don’t want to be with him all the time either! And, I also had hurt feelings and an inner sense that he was “abandoning” me. I gave myself all of these experiences—this was so important to be real with myself, and eventually to let go of the cause of my hurt.
Here’s a photo with me in Tucson at a local hotel we stayed at right before my birthday. What a great reminder that I can always get back in the saddle when I don’t want to forgive! 🙂
The next morning, I went out for a run and did forgiveness. I forgave myself for judging myself as unworthy of love. I forgave myself for judging my partner as not loving me enough, and I really let go of the expectation I had on how he needed to love me. This reaction came from an old belief I had that I wasn’t lovable, based on my experience with my Dad—which is something for ME to work out. (Good news is, I’d done a lot of work on this already, so I had a strong foundation here.)
As we were walking out to the car after my run, I felt a release inside of me. That I needn’t put any residual upset I had with my Dad onto David, or blame either of them for what they do. They are doing the best they can.
This was so freeing, like an inner “click”!
I knew for a long time on the mental level that my upset is my responsibility and that when I am feeling hurt, it is simply an indicator that I have an unresolved issue inside of me to heal. In fact, this hurt is a gift for me to learn and replace outdated beliefs with ones that serve me better.
And, it’s a whole other thing to let go, to stop blaming people — David, my ex-husband, my Dad — for doing what they do. What helps me is to simply show up again and again to forgive and to hold for myself when I didn’t want to let go. This honesty gives me the space to work my process and move on.
To forgive, there’s one additional piece—to forget what you judged in the first place. To give someone the chance to “hurt” you again. I’d read about this, and I have experienced it a few times, e.g., with the murder of my mom, with upset toward my Dad, with myself on how I treated my body.
Now, for one of the first times in my life, I truly experience this inside with a partner plus a deeper sense of self-love.
I’m not 100% sure where David and I are headed. What I do know is that I am learning SO much, and that I’m willing to accept and love him and give him (and me) the freedom to be who we are.
That’s what I have for today! A truly beautiful birthday blessing.
Have a wonderful weekend.
#FORGIVINGFRIDAYS POSTS FOR THE LAST MONTH:
Etta of Simply Etta D. did a weekly blog post – each one is beautiful and powerful!
Lorelle of A Mindful Traveller gave us a beautiful reminder to slow down and take a break in our lives and shares a photo collage of her travels where she did just that. Thank you Lorelle!
DeB of Roaming Urban Gypsy contributed a beautiful sharing of her experience with letting go of the past and sharing her gifts as an artist. And a great photo of her!!
Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking wrote a poem that captures both the pain of blaming and the hope of forgiveness – and a gorgeous photo to illustrate peace!
Ali of Flashlight Batteries contributed a poem that illustrates the incredible courage of forgiving after we “fall” and being bold in letting go and expanding upward. So inspiring!
Pragalbha of Infinite Living shared two posts: (1) a poem that elegantly describes relationships based on unconditional loving and (2) a process to help her release self-judgments and be more confortable with herself—it includes pausing to be still. Beautiful!
Revived Writer wrote a poem on embracing new beginnings – and how no matter what is happening, joy is always present and being created anew. Amazing writing!
idaughter contributed a beautiful haiku that demonstrates the gift of self-forgiveness and loving ourselves, even if it looks messy. A first-time contributor – welcome!
Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:
- Every day is Friday! Do a post today or anytime this week.
- Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story … what opens your heart?
- Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
- Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you.
- Have fun – you are awesome!