Welcome to the October edition of Moments of Forgiveness and Compassion! It’s lovely to connect with each of you.

This particular newsletter is focused on Seeing the Good, i.e., how can you learn from––and receive the blessing in––every situation in your life no matter what’s happening? Below, you’ll see a story about my mom prior to her death that may give you inspiration, plus two resources on shifting your perspective to help you. (The TedX Talk is from National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones and it’s breathtaking!) 

And, I can’t think of a better time to practice seeing the good than right now, with all that’s occurring in the world.  With the exhaustion many people are experiencing about the continuation of CoVid, plus the impacts on our economy and personal lives, not to mention the U.S. election next week––so much is coming forward for our learning, and it’s so easy to approach life from a limiting perspective.  What might change for you if you pause to listen inside, ask what key learning opportunity is available, and give your inner wisdom a chance to show you the beauty right in front of you? 

It’s a paradigm shift to see and celebrate the greater good, and my story and the below resources are designed to support you in opening to possibility! 

Before my mom was murdered, I went out to visit her.  She was living in Long Island, N.Y., and I was about 2 1/2 hours away in a cute artsy town north of Manhattan. My trip was inspired by a program I was doing in spiritual leadership, where I’d chosen my mom as a key focus––specifically to learn how to see her through the eyes of love, rather than thinking her mental illness was who she truly is. It was a big shift for me, and an important one. To really approach my world from a higher perspective, it was time to let go of old beliefs about what my mom was here to learn, and how her life should be happening.

On this particular day, I was supposed to meet her and a realtor to look at possible new homes for her.  She was living in a run-down apartment, and I wanted to help her have a nicer living condition.  Well, that was my plan, anyway!  She called me as I was driving to say that she had an appointment with an eye doctor, and that she wanted me to take her.

Boy, was I furious! I thought she didn’t understand what we were supposed to be doing. We yelled at each other, and I told her that a realtor was waiting for us, and all to no avail.  We were going to the eye doctor.

I worked through my upset about this on the drive, and took responsibility for the way I responded. I forgave myself for judging my mom as wrong and less than because of her mental illness––and myself for how I treated her.  And I looked inside at old beliefs that I’ve held against her, and myself. It was so helpful to do this.  By the time I picked her up, I’d made peace inside of me and was fully willing to support mom with what she wanted. 

When we got to the doctor’s office, my mom needed to have drops put in her eyes before treatment.  The nurse told her that there was a .000005% (you get the idea) chance of her having complications that could be fatal.  My mom came back into the waiting room so the drops could take effect, and was pretty upset and scared––she tended to get worried about things like this, and she thought she might die. 

My heart opened and I said to her, knowing how much mom had a connection with God, 

“Mom, if you die, you’ll just go back to God quicker.” I looked in her eyes and smiled, and beamed her love. 

She visibly relaxed, and I was touched by her vulnerability and the gift I was given to help her with her fear.  It was one of the most intimate moments I recall sharing with my mom.

As I went out to the car to get her jacket (she was cold), time stood still. It was like I had an opportunity to really take in the true purpose of what I was doing there––to deeply see and honor my mom, and soothe her when she needed it most.  I shook my head and said to myself, “And I thought I knew what I was here to help her with.” 🙂

What’s amazing is, I had no idea at that time that my mom would be murdered just a few months later. I still wonder whether she remembered my words at the doctor’s office before she transitioned. 

I was humbled by that experience with my mom.  A part of what I learned from it is to let go of what I “think” I know about her and listen deeply to the inner guidance I receive––and to give my mom the freedom to be herself and have her own experience (rather than what I believed it should be.)  I also made a stronger commitment to help add to the sum total of goodness, to focus on loving even when I didn’t understand what was happening.  

All of this to say, we really don’t always know what the purpose is for what happens, or what we decide to do or not.  Sometimes, the lesson is clear much later, or it takes slowing down to access the wisdom available.  And, what if there is an opportunity to approach every situation like it has a profound gem for you and your growth?

I encourage you in the coming weeks to slow down and be with those situations that feel hard right now, and the learning in them.  Be kind and compassionate with where you are, and listen to all the parts that need love.  Look at your reactions and old beliefs that block you––the forgiveness excerpt here can help you get started.  And, open to the possibility that you can receive gifts everywhere, including in your upset!  In this TedX Talk “Celebrating the Good”, you’ll learn a powerful method to view life’s situations from the lens of celebration. 

Above all, use it all to make peace with yourself, forgive deeply, and connect with who you are….which is far bigger than anything that happens in your life. You are the blessing.

You know, I never moved my mom into that house.  What I did do is share a beautiful moment of compassion with her, one of the most profound of our relationship, and at a time where she was being prepared for something far beyond what I could see or imagine.

See you in the next newsletter and bless us all.

With loving,
Debbie

ps – Contact me if you have questions, or want to share insights or learning that you had.  It would be lovely to hear from you!