Today’s forgiving journal: Grieving loss

Today’s forgiving journal is about grieving loss.

It’s almost like saying the same thing twice, isn’t it?  “Grieving loss” …. and yet that’s what the experience feels like inside of me.

The day started with me bursting over tears when I got reminded of someone that I am grieving.  I didn’t even realize that tears were still present for me in regards to them!  For the rest of the morning and into the afternoon, I had trouble concentrating and just did my very best to take one step in front of the other.

I eventually came out of it, and I’m still pretty raw.  What’s present now is to just really give myself a whole lot of caring.  It’s completely ok that I’m feeling these things.  I am also remembering that I recently asked for healing and completion in regards to some old grief — so what a blessing that I am safe inside of myself to feel this hurt.

OK it’s time for my forgiving process:

1 – Self-forgiveness: I forgive myself for judging myself for not wanting to miss this person.  I forgive myself for judging myself for being so uncomfortable with grief and crying.

buddha-quote May 20 20162 – Letting go: I am ok with myself exactly as I am, with exactly what I’m experiencing, right here and right now.  And best I can, I let it all go into the loving presence that helps me.

3 – Gratitude: I am grateful for continuing to show up for myself.  I am grateful for the opportunity to heal and complete past griefs.  I am grateful for the grouchiness I feel regarding loss.  I love myself!

*****

What’s present right now is to say thank you.  Thank you for all the months of participating with me in this forgiving journal.  It is a circle of kindness that is one of the greatest blessings of my life currently.

I love you.

Love, Debbie

i-am-a-part-of-all May 20 2016


10 thoughts on “Today’s forgiving journal: Grieving loss

  1. Hi Debbie, as always a lovely post. Would like to share my story as Daddy’s girl. Was 22 years old when he passed away, final year of university – on easter Friday. 23 years on. Time heals, honestly time heals. I did cry when he passed away, but not as much I felt I should have, and some how completed my degree. But, I still cry when Aprils comes I cry, bank holidays come, his birthday and my birthday. But, there is nothing wrong in that. But, what always makes it better are the memories- which are so lovely, they are what keep me whole, for daddy’s girl will always be daddy’s girl I spent so much time with him, except for the 4 years at university. But as I always says, what touched the heart is with me always and forever, never to be stolen. When you have a great relationship it is your strength, never be be lost – because it is was so whole. always in the heart, never to be lost , never to be stolen, a wholeness proudly remembered with the same love and affections as if he was present in our life today. Before he went, I had come home to revise, me and him went for a walk and he asked me who is going to look after her – meaning Mum. I was like, one what are you saying , two how can you doubt. He asked me is she learning to drive – I said I don’t know and I then just happened to look at the road and guess what i saw – my mum driving in a learners car. I am so glad she learnt to drive it was so useful. Dad passed away a few weeks later – yeah a shock . I remembered and my heart felt but I didn’t get a chance to hug him, I didn’t get a chance to speak to him. In a really vivid dream, I went into the kitchen to say by to mum as i was going out , then i felt mum was not alone in the kitchen, and I turned around and it was dad, – i got my hug – my big hug – the hug i needed. It was only a dream but it was so real I can’t tell you how real. Writing about it brings it all back , and tears are a flowing and I understand the rawness you speak. Raw is because it still needs to come out. but it is fine. Time heals and talking heals – remember the love, see how far you have come, memories are always in the heart always and never to be stolen. Always and forever.

    I love your post, and i write this with a tear in my eye. and wish to send you a big big hug from me in London, we can manage so much we don’t know . A little cry from time to time is required to heal. positive therapy to release the pain – it is okay. lots of love bella

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bella, thank you so much for sharing your story with your dad, and also your mum. Your heartfelt words touched right into me!! I especially love that you reminded me of the fact that the relationship love is still intact where it counts — in my heart. And gosh, your dream with your dad is such a gift. I receive your hug from London and send one right back to you from Brooklyn!! Many blessings. Love, Debbie

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Debbie, have you read Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie? I forgot the exact words but he (Prof. Morrie) said that he gave few minutes of his mornings to grieve. And I agree with him, isn’t it okay to be sad? 🙂 Sending loves from Indonesia.

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    1. Opat, this is wonderful! Thank you so much for this resource. I love the suggestion for allowing regular time to grieve, and that all of what we experience is ok. My spiritual teacher John-Roger has said that “Acceptance is the first law of Spirit.” Boy, it’s a continual lesson for me. Sending love right back to you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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