Today’s Bonus Forgiving Fridays! A Gift Of My Mom’s Death

Hi everyone,

Happy #ForgivingFridays!

I wasn’t planning on writing a post this morning.  Since I’m doing Money Mondays every week, I decided to move this Forgiving Fridays series to once per month.  And, I woke up with this blog, and so I share it with you in great love.

Also below are contributions for #ForgivingFridays last week (and a few from last year.) Feel free to contribute your own experience, your stories, on forgiveness and letting go. Simply tag this post & include #ForgivingFridays in your tags.

Forgiveness Podcast Restoration 2018

I sometimes miss my mom so much. She was unconditionally loving and accepting, and she would always call me for my birthday.

When she was murdered, I was in shock.  I remember my husband at the time Bruce telling me, and my body got really cold.  He hugged me, and I said to myself, “This didn’t happen really.”

A part of me has stayed in that disbelief for over 10 years.  I got clear to do this work of forgiveness before she died, and I went with it afterward with gusto!  I’m so glad I did that, it allowed me to find the gift in her murder to help other people access the grace of forgiveness, i.e., I love myself and everyone else no matter what.

And now, I take a pause — a pause to let the grace flow over me, washing away all the trauma, all the hurt, and all the grief.  Rumi said that in the grief is the joy.  I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling scared to stop and allow the grief and be present in that.

I forgive myself for judging God for taking away my Mom.  And, I forgive myself for judging myself as unwilling to love since that time.

The truth is, this experience has opened me to love.  It’s opened me to Intimacy.  I have a spiritual teacher J-R who said, “Into Me You See” is what intimacy is.  I’m so happy that she gave herself to God and gave me a sacred space to give myself to Spirit here on earth.

 

 

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And as a part of that, on days like this, when I’m sad about my mom, I put a blanket around me and give myself a hug – and remind myself of the truth of forgiveness.

Thank you for being here.  Be good and gentle to yourself today.

Love, Debbie

**This post is my contribution to Dutch Goes The Photo’s Gentle and Trent’s Weekly Smile.**

#FORGIVINGFRIDAYS POSTS FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS:

Etta of Simply Etta D. contributed a wonderful invitation to open to the possibilities of 2019 and to use acceptance as a key to change. Go, Etta!  (and here’s another one I love, where Etta reminds us that all we need to do is commit to ourselves just for today.)

DeB of Roaming Urban Gypsy contributed a beautiful sharing of her experience with letting go of the past and sharing her gifts as an artist.  And a great photo of her!!

Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking gave us a beautiful compilation of creativity to illustrate forgiveness – including a story of an old couple in unconditional love – and gorgeous photo to accept what is!

Emily of Zombie Flamingo shared a stunning photo of Canada with a joke for Fandango’s One Word Challenge of “Forgive” (great topic). Humor is a huge part of letting go!!

Pragalbha of Infinite Living shared her own quote image on how choices are full of wisdom when we work with forgiveness. Thank you Pragalbha – beautiful!

Revived Writer wrote a courageous poem on being with herself even when she’s struggling.  This is a huge key to accept what is – including ourselves exactly as we are!

Miriam of Out An’ About wrote a heartwarming post on anticipating the adventure of life and the year ahead. She invites us to know that something wonderful is waiting for us. Wow!

Patty of Whimziville.com shared a creative project with a lighthouse that demonstrates how we can hold the Light in the darkness.  She shares such keys for peace – thank you!

Forgiving Fridays banner

David Sand photography


43 thoughts on “Today’s Bonus Forgiving Fridays! A Gift Of My Mom’s Death

    1. Thank you so much, Anne. As i read your comment, I experienced your caring and love, and joy. Today, I commit once again to choose love!

      I love YOU, Anne. You have such a presence of joy. 😊 Have a great week!
      Blessings to you in all ways,
      Debbie

      Like

    1. Thank you Trent. It’s in part because of what I learned from this that I opened to greater love, and forgiveness. That’s something it took me time to see. 💜

      I appreciate your blog so much! Thanks for the weekly smile. (My mom would have loved that.)
      Blessings,
      Debbie

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It helped me to see everything as love, and open to such a deep compassion for myself and others involved. Not so easy, and I’m still working it!

      You know, my mom would have been the first person to forgive the person who did it. 💜 She also would have LOVED your poetry!
      So glad you’re here. Blessings to you.

      Like

  1. Once again, your beautiful words have resonated with me…I just posted a piece of writing describing a sweet moment when I became aware that the spectre of grief was beginning to fade away…perhaps forgiving a horrific act is found on the same path…thank you for sharing, Debbie, your words never fail to inspire!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. On Kimberlee, I’m glad you got inspiration from this. And, I hear you re the grief fading. In my experience it has a life of its own. A mentor of mine told me to cry all of my tears, and I never forgot that advice. It touched my heart. As do you.

      Blessings to you Kimberlee! Sending Light your way
      Debbie

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Laurie, thank you. Yes, I’ve heard amazing stories about the Amish community and their ability to forgive so freely. In my experience, Self-forgiveness is the key to so much …. self-love and acceptance, peace, and generosity of Spirit.

      Blessings to you, Laurie. So glad you visited.
      Debbie

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yours is a moving, touching, portrait of your Mom and your Love for Her. She has passed down Her loving, compassionate, caring traits to you. Pets give unconditional Love.

    For the next FORGIVENESS Friday I want to show how pets, in this case, my next door neighbors dog Clementine can raise your spirit along with positive Vibes can be uplifting. Interactions with pets can uplift your mood because they change your mood, redirect your focus to happiness and joy.

    I’m also grateful for my wonderful next door neighbors who are fun, kind, compassionate and giving. What an Outstanding Blessing.

    https://roamingurbangypsy.com/2019/01/12/happy-birthday-clementine/

    Clementine The Most Precious Princess Ginger Puppy turned One Year old on January 7th. Clementine truly is The Belle of Brownsville, Brooklyn!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DeBorah, thank you for seeing the gifts that my mom passed along to me. You really have a gift for touching in to the essence of people. It shows in your art and your creative writing.

      What a great topic for a Forgiving Fridays contribution – pets!! It’s so true, they offer us such unconditional loving, acceptance and gentle touch. Love this. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us for Forgiving Fridays, DeB. You are a bright Light!

      Have a wonderful rest of your week. Many blessings to you,
      Debbie

      Like

  3. Sending you the biggest hugs and all my love, Debbie. This is a vulnerability that will resonate & impact so many people. I’m nearly left speechless by this post. Thank you for being you, sharing your authentic story, and loving people deeply through it. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mack, thank you for sharing your experience of reading this post. It really inspires a deep pause when something like a murder of a parent happens … the forgiveness came in often when I was walking silently through the woods. I did Soul searching with God as my partner every step of the way. And, this post came out in 5 minutes when I woke up on Friday morning. (It was like my heart talking to me and us. ❤ )

      I'm so glad you read this, and that it touched you, Mack. I love that you see the deep loving in me, because that's what inspires everything I do. So much love to you and DJ! And a big hug back to you.
      Blessings, Debbie

      Like

    1. Colline, I’m sorry to hear that. So much love to you and your family.

      I’ve actually been able to let go of much of the anger through the practice of Self-forgiveness. I studied at a school for spiritual psychology and learned (and put into practice) various tools to come to peace…and do coaching now with this as one aspect.

      I appreciate you sharing with me. Feel free to comment on my blog anytime – you are so welcome!
      Blessings,
      Debbie

      Like

  4. Aw I’m glad you went ahead and posted this even though you weren’t planning to. Grief is tricky, tricky business. Good for you to acknowledge and work through it, Debbie. Thinking about you and hope your week is going well!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Lacey! You are such a caring person – and a great mom. 🙂 I am having a beautiful week, preparing for a new coaching school that I’m participating in….starts on Thursday.

      I hope you are having a beautiful week too, Lacey. Love to you and your whole family!!
      Debbie

      Like

  5. Sorry I haven’t been around lately. I just lost my mom a few weeks ago, and appreciate this timely post. That line about in the grief is the joy rings true. Sometimes the peace is found among the chaos, it seems.

    Wishing you a peaceful and joyous 2019. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am sending you a big hug right now. ❤ Glad that the quote on grief and joy rang true for you.

      Remember to be gentle with yourself and take good care….that's very important. You are welcome to reach out to me anytime. My email is: info@forgivingconnects.com. Happy to listen. And, I’m so happy to have you back!!

      Blessings, Debbie

      Like

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