Today’s forgiving journal: Not having to be perfect

Today’s forgiving blog is about not having to be perfect.

I experienced some pretty painful emotions this week.  Probably the biggest thing is that I co-presented a class and felt like I “wasn’t on” or didn’t do the greatest job.  Even as I am writing this, a part of me wants to disappear, because I….  Well, let’s slow that down.

A part of me wants to disappear because in the past, I’ve turned away from myself when I make a mistake.  I abandon myself.  This stops now.

It stops even to the point that I LOVE the part of me that abandons myself.  It’s that deep of a change.  I’m not trying to get rid of any of it – rather, my intention is to love all of it and to tune into the wisdom of my heart for what to do.

This starts with self-forgiveness:

1 – Self-forgiveness: I forgive myself for judging myself as needing to be perfect to be loved.  I forgive myself for judging myself for not loving myself when I do something less than what I think I can do.  I forgive myself for judging my mom for not being the role model that I wanted her to be.

2 – Letting Go: I let all this go into the Light with a BIG SMILE so that I may be set free.  THANK YOU DEBBIE!

3 – Gratitude: I am grateful for the opportunity to love myself.  I am grateful for letting go of an old pattern – I thought it was perfectionism and maybe it’s really separating myself from loving it all.

****

The wisdom of my heart never steers me wrong.  I noticed a forgiveness about my mom – it just popped out.  There’s a quote from J-R (my spiritual teacher) which says something like “You can talk to your mom and she’ll get it, and there’s lots of healing”.  Mom, I accept and love you as you are/were.

Maybe I can improve as a facilitator.  Well, I’m sure of that.   And the biggest way for me to improve today is to awaken to my own loving presence.  I choose “YES!”

I love you.  Wow, that is beautiful – like a gorgeous star in the sky.

Love, Debbie

ps – this is my contribution for Dutch Goes the Photo’s Weekly Challenge, Abandoned.  Frank, can you see the lone star in the sky? I realized it’s not abandoned – it’s just love.

 

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44 thoughts on “Today’s forgiving journal: Not having to be perfect

  1. Of course you will improve as a facilitator – just keep getting up there and letting the experience happen, no matter what it brings. We can’t get better if we don’t let ourselves fall down. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for putting into words something that I do. By reading this, it has come into my conscious understanding. Wow! So many times I wanted to crawl under my desk at work and hide – because I did not feel perfect in that moment. If there is a next time, I will stop and forgive myself in that moment. ❤
    Thank you, Debbie! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes I realized that the audience didn’t know what the right way or wrong way, good or bad way in a presentation. It’s the expectation to ourselves. If I didn’t do a good job, the audience may not even know it. It’s good that you didn’t expect yourself to be perfect, so you didn’t stress yourself. I’m happy for you!

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    1. Thank you, Miriam! That’s so true … very important to be aware of what’s going on inside so we’re being good to ourselves and open to learning, kindness and love. So glad for your comment. You are a gift.
      Blessings,
      Debbie

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh I’ve been there Debbie – giving a presentation which just ‘goes to pot’ … ‘panic attack’s ‘self loathing’… Hypnotherapy was my saviour and since that time, it’s ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ because it’s the only way to improve. AND A LOT of Pre training preparation.. Standing infront of the mirror saying the words out loud and visualisation – imagine yourself standing there presenting the words and seeing the enthusiastic faces of your clients… For me that preparation is absolutely critical and without it.. I panic! Well done for forgiving yourself and getting ‘back on the bike’ when you’ve fallen off… If it’s any consolation, you’re probably criticising yourself far more than those trainees did… often they don’t even notice the mistakes.. Angel Blessings my friend and yes – “Cheers to Imperfections!” – hey how would we make others look good if we were perfect ourselves! x

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    1. Great wisdom, Wendy! I love your Cheers – it’s so happy, I think I’m going to use that in my own forgiveness. Cheers to forgiveness !!!
      Big smiles to you Wendy, and so much love and Light and courage in all the ways we share ourselves. You have a lot of creativity, and it’s inspiring. Love, Debbie

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This process that you share with us so beautifully and lovingly …is the hardest kind of work to go through …thank you for sharing …it stirs a lot to be loved and accepted in me, there is always more love we can give ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Debbie, wow… this is SOOOO relatable. I actually needed to hear this right now. We are always are own worse critics, aren’t we? And the way you described abandoning a part of yourself- I totally relate to that 100%. It’s like we don’t want to think about it or acknowledge it, but when we can embrace all aspects of who we are in love, that is so powerful! Thank you for sharing this. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay, Mack, that is so great! Isn’t it powerful to just accept what is going on inside of us? It’s a relief for me. 🙂 So glad that you are here – I appreciate your wisdom, your elegance, and your deep caring. Blessings to you and to DJ ~Debbie ps – one step at a time (that works for me 🙂 )

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Perhaps your presentation was better than you thought Debbie!! Other people just see what you say– not the things you missed. But we all understand– who doesn’t have down days. The older I get, the more I see my imperfections–and my need to rely on God all the more… take care friend. You give out to a lot of people. xo

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  8. It’s all too easy to judge ourselves when we “perform”. I used to teach a bit and my tutor told me that instead of beating myself up for the bits that went wrong or that I could have done better, I should celebrate the bits that did go well. We need to celebrate ourselves so much more, and I’d definitely say you have lots to celebrate about yourself Debbie – you are amazing 🙂 .

    Liked by 1 person

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