Today’s forgiving blog is about being me.
I got feedback today from someone that all of the things about me that are not truly in alignment with what I want …. or who I am … (or something like that anyway!) are being brought to me so I can let them go. She also told me that sometimes it’s like my guts are being pulled out of my nose.
OK, so while this doesn’t sound particularly pleasant, it is honestly a huge relief for me. I feel like I am being given a second chance at life. Wait – I CHOSE this second chance. I quit my job, moved across the country, lost a love, and truly opened to my heart showing me what is next for me in the deepest prayers.
God, I am writing, and I am not even sure how or what I’m writing. I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling like I need to make sense in this process of creativity, of rebirth, of true deep forgiving.
What I am present to right now is that I had one of the most amazing conversations of my life with a man I knew from LA who is now on the East Coast and starting anew as well. And he wants to start a forgiveness center like me. Spirit brings us the resources to fulfill our prayers, and I am choosing in.
I am being shown over and over again that I am being really courageous and going for what is true for me. I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling so scared about this sometimes.
I have another thing to say. I’d been pushing off eating breakfast in the morning, and it wasn’t good for me. Today, before my phone call with the forgiving guy, I got so tired of hurting myself like that, and I got breakfast! I forgive myself for judging myself for withholding nurturing myself, and I commit to doing my best – step by step – to take care of myself. And to continue forgiving.
OK, that is enough for today. I feel like I am putting forward pieces of a gorgeous red carpet, welcoming you – and me – to the gorgeousness of my real parts within. It is at once uncomfortable and so, so dear.
I love you!! Please just know I send so many blessings to you. ❤