A Belated #ForgivingFridays––A Touching Forgiveness Story

Posted on by Forgiving Connects
Forgiving Fridays banner facebook

Hi everyone,

Happy belated #ForgivingFridays!  It’s been a while since I’ve been on my blog, and I’m looking forward to reconnecting with you.  I hope you and your loved ones are well, healthy and happy. ❤

Here’s my sharing for this week:

I got a real schooling yesterday on Self-forgiveness, and how important it is to slow down to listen to the part(s) that want attention.

In the morning, I tried to do a #ForgivingFridays video on Facebook THREE times, and each time it froze in the middle. So, I stopped, which was great b/c I wasn’t really enthusiastic about it (which is a good sign for me that something is going on.)

I started feeling sadder and sadder as the day went on, and called a friend. She listened to me, as I poured out all this self-judgment about how I acted in my most previous relationship (we split up in the last few months). I “should have” done this better, and I “should have” done that better, and I certainly “should have known better” to act like a kid sometimes in the relationship. The thing is, the issue wasn’t so much how I acted, or what I did or didn’t do, it’s that I had this self-critical talk inside that wasn’t ever satisfied.

I cried a lot, and let out the shame of feeling so pushed away by ME––it was really freeing, and I just gave myself the full freedom to do it. The learning I had was to flood that part inside that doesn’t feel enough with such loving, and compassion, and to give this aspect of me the time and space to get all of the sadness and grief out.

The part that was self-critical is really that part of me that never felt like enough growing up, and now I can look at this with neutrality, acceptance and a deep empathy from a higher perspective––which I couldn’t do earlier in the day.

So perfect that I’m a forgiveness coach. I thought I “knew” better than to push past feelings, or judgments; in fact, I just coached a few people on that on a group call this week. I guess we really teach what we need to learn, right?  I am grateful to be walking my talk, and to be so committed to learn and give myself life-affirming forgiveness, loving, and nurturing attention. It is truly a game-changer (and I can now review my relationship with altitude to look at whether there’s anything I can adjust in my attitude or behavior going forward, with loving again!).

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

And here’s one last thing:

On the way home from talking with my friend, I stopped at Trader Joe’s. The cashier I had was named Maria, and she was a totally maternal, older woman who gave me such kindness. She saw my arm was straining to hold my groceries and water, and she gently suggested I get a cart to go back to my car––and then she gave me an amazing recipe for banana muffins. I can apply loving to the parts inside that need it, and sometimes it makes all the difference to have a helping hand in just the right moment.

See the recipe below, in case you want to try it out. 🙂

Love to all.

Love,
Debbie

 

Banana Nut Muffin Recipe from Maria

 

14 thoughts on “A Belated #ForgivingFridays––A Touching Forgiveness Story”

    1. Judy!! So good to see you and connect with your Beloved joy on my blog. ❤ And, I’m glad that this post was valuable for you that day.

      I’m sending oodles of love and Light your way, and let me know how you are by email. Really a blessing to have your presence here. XO

      Love, Debbie

      Like

      Reply

  5. Hello Debbie! So lovely to visit again.

    When I read your intro page about how it’s the forgiving of our judgments and self-criticisms that is really key my mind jumped to the thought, “I forgive myself for constantly criticizing my body, for never being happy with it, for always judging it.” And the tears started to flow. In their flow, I felt a huge weight lift off of me (pun intended 🙂 ) and realized that it is the judgements I’m carrying about myself that weigh most heavily on my mind + heart + body.

    And then… I read this post and I smiled. Ah yes.

    I love the tender self-compassion filling your words.

    Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself and in doing that…. the world becomes kinder to me – like your angel Maria.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Louise this is beautiful––I hear how meaningful the compassion is that you are giving to yourself!

      One suggestion you could try out: I love the forgiveness statement that you used, AND you may consider taking it a step further, i.e., that the issue is forgiving yourself for the judgment you have about something, rather than the thing itself. You can check out using this stem sentence when you do forgiveness, “I forgive myself for judging…” and whatever the judgment is. When you do this, you let go of the separation you’ve placed between you and your heart. (Rumi has a quote that speaks to this, Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” ❤ )

      So, in this case, you might say something like, "I forgive myself for judging myself for not saying nice things to my body, or not feeling happy with it." Breathe in and out. Let go into the love and grace of that, and see if/how it works for you.

      What if there's no right or wrong, only learning (and peace in the forgiving of thinking otherwise)? Taking this perspective can shift the course of your life, especially the way you relate to yourself.

      Let me know if you have questions!

      I'm sending you much Light and blessings. You uplift me each time you visit here! Be well, Louise
      Debbie

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment