Happy belated #ForgivingFridays! It’s been a while since I’ve been on my blog, and I’m looking forward to reconnecting with you. I hope you and your loved ones are well, healthy and happy. ❤
Here’s my sharing for this week:
I got a real schooling yesterday on Self-forgiveness, and how important it is to slow down to listen to the part(s) that want attention.
In the morning, I tried to do a #ForgivingFridays video on Facebook THREE times, and each time it froze in the middle. So, I stopped, which was great b/c I wasn’t really enthusiastic about it (which is a good sign for me that something is going on.)
I started feeling sadder and sadder as the day went on, and called a friend. She listened to me, as I poured out all this self-judgment about how I acted in my most previous relationship (we split up in the last few months). I “should have” done this better, and I “should have” done that better, and I certainly “should have known better” to act like a kid sometimes in the relationship. The thing is, the issue wasn’t so much how I acted, or what I did or didn’t do, it’s that I had this self-critical talk inside that wasn’t ever satisfied.
I cried a lot, and let out the shame of feeling so pushed away by ME––it was really freeing, and I just gave myself the full freedom to do it. The learning I had was to flood that part inside that doesn’t feel enough with such loving, and compassion, and to give this aspect of me the time and space to get all of the sadness and grief out.
The part that was self-critical is really that part of me that never felt like enough growing up, and now I can look at this with neutrality, acceptance and a deep empathy from a higher perspective––which I couldn’t do earlier in the day.
So perfect that I’m a forgiveness coach. I thought I “knew” better than to push past feelings, or judgments; in fact, I just coached a few people on that on a group call this week. I guess we really teach what we need to learn, right? I am grateful to be walking my talk, and to be so committed to learn and give myself life-affirming forgiveness, loving, and nurturing attention. It is truly a game-changer (and I can now review my relationship with altitude to look at whether there’s anything I can adjust in my attitude or behavior going forward, with loving again!).
And here’s one last thing:
On the way home from talking with my friend, I stopped at Trader Joe’s. The cashier I had was named Maria, and she was a totally maternal, older woman who gave me such kindness. She saw my arm was straining to hold my groceries and water, and she gently suggested I get a cart to go back to my car––and then she gave me an amazing recipe for banana muffins. I can apply loving to the parts inside that need it, and sometimes it makes all the difference to have a helping hand in just the right moment.
See the recipe below, in case you want to try it out.
Love to all.