Happy New Year & Happy #ForgivingFridays everyone! Yay! This is an opportunity for you to share about forgiveness & post about it ANY DAY this week! See guidelines below. ❤ You can post whatever inspires YOU to forgive and choose love. Maybe it’s a poem, or a photo or inspiring quote, or you can share a new project like I did.
Today’s Forgiving Fridays is Piano and My Mom.
I’m going to start piano lessons as a part of my Self-Forgiveness project!!! Wow. I’m so touched.
I played a little yesterday for the first time, and a lot came up inside of me. Like a hidden part is emerging. (My mom was a concert pianist & never taught me to play.)
Let’s back up a bit. I am really wanting to choose an area of my life as a project this year, something that I want to create more of, that can help me to grow and to love myself more. My sense is that it’s around self-expression and creativity.
How does this have to do with Self-forgiveness? Well, in my experience, when I move forward in creating what I want, the things that I’ve allowed to block me (such as old beliefs, hurts and judgments) come up inside for healing – and what better way to let go than through Self-forgiveness. 🙂
Fast forward to a few months ago. I won 2 free sessions at a music school when I was walking around a Farmers’ Market. So yesterday, I went for a free Orientation. And I played. And afterward, I cried.
I didn’t realize how much I still had wrapped up around my mom and the piano. She was an amazing pianist, and she minored in piano at Syracuse University. At some point, she also developed a mental illness and ended up not really playing alot, instead getting government assistance to live on.
I was – and still am, to some extent – so angry that she didn’t use her gifts. A part of my motivation for pushing myself like I do comes from my upset toward her for “wasting her life”.
Mom, I love you so much. A part of Self-forgiveness is to bring loving to the places inside that hurt from long ago, to forgive myself for judging, and to rewrite the script. Where I study Self-forgiveness, it’s called a Healing of Memories.
I am taking the love I have for my mom as a key to love myself. I love that little girl who wanted piano lessons, who grew up watching her mom go in and out of hospitals. I put my hand on my belly, and I say, it’s ok. ❤ (and I pause to let hurt come up too.)
You may remember the phrase I use for Self-forgiveness from last week’s post, “I forgive myself for judging….” I’m going to use it now to forgive myself for the judgments I’ve placed against my mom and myself:
I forgive myself for judging my mom as wasting her life. I forgive myself for judging myself for viewing my mom in a harsh way. I forgive myself for judging my mom’s life as anything less than perfect. I forgive myself for judging MY life as anything less than perfect, that there’s any place I need to go or anything I need to do to “succeed” or love. 🙂
I let all of this go into the most beautiful red Light, into divine love. And I also say at least one thing I’m grateful for. Today, I’m grateful for playing the piano so that I could get in better touch with my little one inside who needs love. I’m smiling right now. What a great simple tool to be with myself.
And I’m re-writing my script. I’m affirming that my mom had a wonderful life, full of learning and growth that was perfect for her. I’m committing to love my little one inside exactly as she is and to let her know it’s all ok – including expressing my own inner musician. And to continue re-writing how I approach life by allowing and dancing rather than pushing or thinking I know what’s “right”. ❤ .
In the coming weeks, I plan to continue exploring my Self-forgiveness project and share my experience with you. In the meantime, here are some photos of me at my lesson yesterday: 🙂
I am SO SO grateful for all of you who contribute to Forgiving Fridays. I learn so much from you! Here are this week’s contributions:
Etta of Simply Etta D. gave us a wonderful post (and very sweet photo) with an invitation to honor ourselves and others and to live every moment letting our love lead. Bless you, Etta! ❤
DeBorah of Roaming Urban Gypsy shared two photo collages – one with her new shoes and her cat Sylvester that show the joy of little acts of kindness and a second to highlight how gorgeous she is as she nurtures herself right before her birthday. Happy almost birthday, DeB!!
Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking contributed an exquisite photo and self-authored quote on how forgiveness opens our hearts to home…. and soothes us right when we need it!
Xenia of Whippet Wisdom shared a heartwarming set of photos illustrating the courage of her dog Elvor, when faced with a new situation. A great example of stepping into the unknown territory of love! ❤
Pragalbha of Infinite Living gave us an enlightening poem and photo of letting go, surrendering, and opening to the freedom and beauty of unconditional giving. Truly awesome!
Miriam of Out an’ About wrote a beautiful blog with her experience of letting go when going through her mum’s house after her passing – what a demonstration of her loving heart!
Stella of Giggles & Tales contributed a gorgeous collection of quotes to understand the people who surround us and the lessons of life. Thank you, Stella!
And in case you missed it from my last blog: ❤
Donna of Wind Kisses shared her wish that we each soar and live fully –including a gorgeous song to open up and share who we truly are. A first-time contributor!
Revived Writer wrote a beautiful poem on forgiving herself for the past and trusting she’s exactly where she needs to be – and renewing with the blessings of the New Year!
If you have a goal you’d like to bring forward this year, a dream that whispers or sings in your heart, I’d love to hear about it. It can be so supportive to share in a community of people who care about you. ❤
I’d like to end with part of a poem from Rumi from “Delicious Laughter”:
“Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.
A nursing mother, all she does
is wait to hear her child.”
I love you.
Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:
- Every day is Friday! Do a post today or anytime this week.
- Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story … what opens your heart?
- Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
- Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you.
- Have fun – you are awesome!!