I have an observation on Self-forgiveness, and the opening it creates.
For me, this time is one of deep authentic connection to the Beloved within. I’ve looked at, and healed, so many unconscious limiting stories that have (without my awareness!) held me back from standing in my leadership and what is truly on course for me….and especially with relationship. I have really projected a lot of judgment on to my (now ex-) partner, and this “lockdown” has for me, been an opening to see what I was doing and to take ownership that the judgments were really about myself.
I saw my partner as not participating, and who was the one really not participating? Me. I used to try to control his expression, and this was a way––come by with totally understandable reasons––to withdraw from simply being with him. Celebrating him, and truly seeing and engaging with him as he was. And, just recently, I caught myself judging that he didn’t “get” that it was really over. (He texted me, and boy did I go into it!)
What was true is that it’s ME that wasn’t ready to let go. I didn’t want to face the loss that invariably comes…at least up until now. And, the truth is, I so deeply love that part of me. I forgive myself for judging the aspect of me that doesn’t want to let go, that would rather control a situation, or try to, so that I would never feel the sense of loss that I do now. In the forgiveness, I stand at an opening to a whole new way of being, with me and with any partner that I’m with.
This is one of the most sanctified moments of forgiveness––to apply loving to the judging and set myself free….so that means I need to be willing to walk through that door to the gift of grace that is my revelatory guide inside on how I want to connect with a partner. Precious moments.
And this is why I decided to hold a webinar this Wednesday, and you’re so welcome to come. It’s called Opening to Renewal and is an opportunity for you to reflect on what’s most important for you now….what you’ve learned during this time…what works for you and doesn’t work for you…and live into the experiences and vision that makes your heart sing (including the gifts already in your life).
And sometimes, that can come from looking deeply at what no longer works. It can be the very thing that gives you the greatest insight into your true prayers and vision on how you want to, and are willing to, show up in your life. My own experience is unfolding, and I created an Ideal Scene on relationship that I’m going to dive into myself during this webinar!
So, if you are struggling at all and want to slow down with yourself during this time, to delve a little more into what you don’t like, or find hard, about what’s happening, and how you can choose differently, this is a space where you can do that. You may get a loving nudge in a new direction….and whatever you discover, freedom is just on the other side of that door.
(Here’s a photo with a collage Ideal Scene that I created – or rather, it really just created and revealed itself to me––it was a joy moment of renewal!)
It would be so lovely to have you, if you’re called to attend. Here’s the link to register: http://openingtorenewal.eventbrite.com.
I send so much love to each of us on this beautiful path of renewal. Take good care and blessings!