Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Self-love and Forgiveness

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

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Hi everyone,

Happy #ForgivingFridays!

I do this Forgiving Fridays series once per month to encourage you to forgive, to let go, and to make peace with yourself––in all areas of your life.  Feel free to contribute your experiences, stories, photos, video, poetry…whatever connects you to the blessing of forgiveness. Simply tag this post & include #ForgivingFridays in your tags.

Below my post are contributions for #ForgivingFridays from this past month!

❤

I’d like to start today with a poem on Surrender.  It epitomizes the experience I have when I forgive:

Surrender Unto Love
And in the
Shadow of
All things For-
Gotten is
The Love of
Forgiveness.
~D. Roth

My post today is about pause––pause to be still, to surrender to the love.  I’ve had a big few months with a lot of change, i.e.,

I left my job of 10 years to expand into full-time coaching….

I split up and got back together and split up and got back together with my partner 🙂 ….

I am no longer tied to LA and am searching for a new “Debbie does Forgiveness” location!

That’s a lot, and it’s time to tune inside, relax, and allow my inner guidance to speak to me.

I used to be scared to be still.  I would do anything to fill up the time.  I think I was scared what I would find when I looked inside of me, given that my mom was mentally ill.  Then, as I got older, I let other people dictate what I would do, because I didn’t know how to be still and listen to myself.  And then, I found Self-forgiveness.

The grace of forgiveness is that I love myself, I don’t need to go away from myself anymore.  When I did that, it hurt tremendously.

This is a gift of untmost pricelessness.  There is no amount of money that could buy the self-love of forgiving myself and that is so cool.

I have practiced Self-forgiveness every day for years now, and I forgive everything!  From getting irritated at a partner, to having deep judgments about my capability to choose what I truly want in a place to live.  Judgments about my body, about me “not belonging” in this world, and judgments more recently about the murder of my mom.

Doing this – facing all the parts inside that I didn’t want to see – is what has helped me most to know and love myself as I am, and to stand in the wisdom of my heart.

So, today and for the next few weeks, my intention is to simply be with myself.  To envision what I truly want to live into each day, and to allow myself to play with what’s possible.  My partner (we’re on again!) is at a spiritual retreat for a few weeks, so it’s a good time to pause with Debbie.  All I know right now is that I’d like to move in the next month or two, and do a “Basics of Forgiveness” workshop in the fall.

And, if I look inside and find doubts, worries, fears, and old memories, I’m ok with that.  Because I have a tool to work with myself and accept it all.

I’m so excited, to the point where I’m crying now.  It’s been a long time coming where I’m ok with myself whatever I do or don’t do, whether I’m in relationship or not, no matter who likes me or doesn’t.  I like me, and I am so looking forward to see what I come up with in my life!  I am learning more and more each day to be — authentically — me.

And my intention is to gain altitude, to look at my life from the highest perspective and ask, “What is on purpose for me now?”  This is a gift, and I’m ready to hear my own answers.

My spiritual teacher has an amazing quote, “It takes great courage to see the face of God because you first have to look at your own.”

To wrap up for today, here’s a video by a wonderful man on what happens when you forgive:

 

**

I also would like to contribute to Frank of Dutch Goes the Photo’s weekly challenge, which is “Outdoors” for this week.  During the last month, I’ve been doing long runs (I think I’m training for a half-marathon!). Here I am pre- and post-run after going for an hour and 45 minutes. The experience of running early in the morning, with the light sun blessing my every step, is incredible.

If I do end up running a race, I’ll dedicate it to all of my readers!  You are each such amazing people and contribute so much love to the planet with your willingness to read my blog and forgive.

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Have a wonderful weekend (and happy fourth of July to those of you in the US). I love you.

Love, Debbie

ps – Feel free to email me with your experiences, or with questions on forgiveness, at info@forgivingconnects.com.  I’m happy to help anytime!

❤

#FORGIVINGFRIDAYS POSTS FOR THE LAST MONTH:

Etta of Simply Etta D. did blog posts every week!  Here’s a summary: (1) one on how to consciously direct our focus to what matters most, (2) a second on the power of dreaming BIG to open to her goal of writing a book (yay), and (3) a third on beautiful quotes to stay inspired and appreciate yourself and your courage.

DeB of Roaming Urban Gypsy contributed beautiful posts, e.g., one about how she listened to a NYC homeless man who lost his dog, and another with the help she gives to people in the NYC shelter system.  Thanks, DeB!

Revived Writer wrote a poem on how forgiveness unlocks our hearts and helps us let go of grudges. I experience each word as a sacred blessing of loving!

Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking gave us a lovely poem on the grace of letting go and letting God.  Such a simple act of great freedom and peace.

Pragalbha of Infinite Living shared a profound post on letting go of the outcome and letting our love lead us––and to honor every step of the way.  A great method to get free! 

Bella of ThoughtsnLifeBlog contributed a poem that illustrates how looking inside (such as through forgiveness) can open us to the healing grace of love’s presence.  Truly exquisite!

Ali of Flashlight Batteries contributed a poem as inspiration for her year of openness”, where she asks “What if I only had one year to live?” and swim in the ocean of possibility. Who’s ready to accept the invitation?! 

And from last month…

Nichol of A Kinder Way is back to blogging at WordPress and shares how she learned the importance of taking breaks––and being kind to herself. Welcome back Nichol!

Donna of Wind Kisses gave us a delightful post on how two friends’ requests came at perfect timing.  She includes so many gems on listening and learning and loving.  Plus a great blog title!

*^*

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story …  what opens your heart?
  • Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
  • Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you.
  • Have fun – you are awesome!

 

Forgiving Fridays banner2

 

 

54 thoughts on “Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Self-love and Forgiveness”

    1. Bella, I’d love to take a look! Can you please tag it #ForgivingFridays and do a pingback to this post? So that I’ll know which one you mean. (It is an honor to contribute your posts to my blog. You have wisdom and such courage in sharing it!!)

      Remember to forgive yourself today! 🙂

      Bless you,
      Debbie

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    2. Hi Bella! I’d love to include your post in my blog highlights this Friday. I couldn’t get to the link that you posted. Can you either repost it here, or link to this post so that I can access it? ❤ . Thanks and looking forward to reading it. Blessings Bella.
      ~Debbie

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    1. Thank you! So lovely to have you here. And, I appreciate your letting yourself “be” — and how wonderful it felt. Connecting inside is key to inner peace.

      Welcome to my blog. Blessings to you, and have a great rest of your week/weekend.
      Debbie

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      Reply

  5. I am so with you on being still. Precious time and moments of aloneness. Just being. Being complete with the past and free and available to the glorious present – it is a gift to give to myself. Happy July to you!

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    1. You said it, Anne! And, where you live is a place of beauty so aligned with the precious time and stillness. I bet that mornings by the sea are amazing. Blessings to you Anne––and happy July right back to you!

      I love you.
      Debbie

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  6. I give you so much credit for running, Debbie! Forgiveness is so vitally important for Peace to reign in our Hearts. And to be truthful with you, it’s been difficult for me to be still, doing “no-thing” on account of so many painful memories that occurred back to back over the last couple of years, and that of one situation that does need to be changed, yet I do not know how to change it (yet). Work in progress here. Beautiful post and I thank you!! 🤗

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    1. AmyRose, I hear you! Sending lots of Light support your way in regards to the situation that you want to change.

      Funny, I was just sharing with a fellow coach how just because you forgive, it doesn’t mean that you necessarily condone behavior or that you can’t set appropriate boundaries to take care of yourself. ❤

      So glad that you're here.

      Blessings,
      Debbie

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    1. Thanks, Emily! You said it. 🙂

      I was speaking with a leadership coach today––and he said that the experience I’m looking for may be available in a new and more expansive way than running a marathon. I found that interesting and am considering the options!!

      Have a wonderful vacation. Great to have you Emily and read your comment.
      Blessings,
      Debbie

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  10. “I am learning more and more each day to be — authentically — me” – that is a good goal to work towards. I think spending time to just be, to be with yourself & focus on YOU is the best investment you can make. Another wonderful post, Debbie, you always shine through with your compassion. When’s the half marathon, if you do choose to run it? We’ll all be cheering you on!
    Caz xx

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    1. You said it Caz! One of the things I find so helpful is to accept ALL the parts of me, whether they are authentic or not. Just on my run this morning, I gave a hug to the part of me who looks outside for guidance, approval, etc. And, I reaffirmed what’s true––I am trusting in my inner guidance, with the help of Spirit.

      Thank you for your comments on my blog. You are so thoughtful and caring. Be in touch anytime, and be gentle with you Caz! 🙂

      Blessings,
      Debbie

      ps – I’m still working out which half-marathon to run, if I do it. So fun. ❤

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      1. Thanks for commenting, Quirky Girl. I hear you! It’s a question that i ask often, both inside of myself and with clients as well. In fact I’m doing a cleanse right now to pause, get clear on my purpose, and let go of what no longer supports that. It’s really good (and I’m hungry. 🙂 )

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    2. Isn’t it, Kathy! Here’s a great quote by John-Roger, a spiritual mentor of mine:

      “To receive, you must be active. You will receive in direct proportion to your clarity of vision, your definiteness of purpose, the steadiness of your faith, and the depth of your gratitude.”

      Have a wonderful rest of your Sunday. 🙂
      Love,
      Debbie

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  12. I absolutely love and appreciate how you hold a mirror to me as if – you are so generous with sharing your journey, inner and outer. I can recognize the space for myself where I am just ok with myself for doing or not doing something. There are so many shifts minor and major – they come with their own intensity and joy. I clearly use your reminder to continually forgive myself for how I navigate this – sometimes gracefully and sometimes not!

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    1. Pragalbha, it is a privilege to hold a mirror up for you. Isn’t it so important to have people in your life who value you and help you expand into love?

      I see you really walking your talk of forgiveness and making incredible shifts! What you wrote “to continually forgive yourself for how you navigate this – sometimes gracefully and sometimes not” is key. Because it doesn’t matter how “good” you do the forgiveness ❤ . It simply matters that you show up and do it!

      I think you are amazing.
      Love,
      Debbie

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  14. Debbie,
    I can relate to so much of what you shared. I am experiencing multiple transitions at the same time. These include my husband now working from home, my youngest son heading off to college, and resigning from a job I had for 12 years. I am creating the next version of myself and it is terrifying and thrilling at the same time. Forgiveness is an essential part of growth and being able to take risks. Thanks so much for all that you share and for sharing my poetry as well. May Love land on you today. 💜

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    1. Hi Ali,
      I am so touched by what you wrote––you are in an incredible transformation and possibility. Thank you for sharing this. Leaving a job of 12 years is huge, not to mention the other changes that you mentioned.

      And, the way you demonstrate the power of openness is beautiful, Ali. I see you being available for what your Soul calls you forward into now. THANK YOU for your poem for #ForgivingFridays – and for so brilliantly illustrating the pause to forgive.

      I re-read my post before commenting on this, and this sentence stood out: “There is no amount of money that could buy the self-love of forgiving myself and that is so cool.” For some reason, it felt important to copy it for you now. Ali, bless you!

      Love and Light,
      Debbie

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      1. Debbie, Thank you for the acknowledgment of the transformation happening in my life. I feel your support and appreciating hearing your journey. I want to reflect that same acknowledgement back to you. You are bravely standing in love and from that place you can’t lose.

        May you see the beauty in your day,
        Ali

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  16. Oh Debbie, there is so much I love about this post. Let’s start with that picture of you!
    Next, pausing is the biggest thing I took away from our session together 🙂
    Then, I would like to point out that you have done the east and west coast thing. Maybe there is a cool city like Austin to look at?
    Finally, I tried to contribute this post to your next Forgiving Friday entry. I *think* I did it right.
    Love you, have a great weekend!
    https://bigandpinkytoes.wordpress.com/2019/07/10/when-you-spend-maternity-leave-with-your-husbandtwice/

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    1. You did it! This is totally fine, Lacey. Thank you for contributing to Forgiving Fridays – I’m so happy you contributed the post about going on maternity leave and learning to make clear agreements with your husband. 🙂 You have such wisdom to share in your writing, especially with your Oklahoma City Mom’s blog.

      And, so great you took pausing from our coaching session together. It’s a key to balance, isn’t it? And creating what you want too! Here’s a great quote I just read in a book called Authentic Success, “Leaders aren’t meant to be permanently busy. Leaders are the custodians of vision. They are meant to take the time to meditate and to focus on the essential truth of the work.”

      Love,
      Debbie

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      1. Ewwww what a great quote. I reread it 3x to let it sink it. That’s a different way to look at leadership than what I picture like a top boss to be, but it’s true. Thanks for sharing!

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  19. This is a wonderful post on self-reflection and also self-love. Great that you have expanded yourself and work by not being tethered to LA. It’s awesome you’re spreading your wings, in doing so I believe you will become more than you are now. Wishing you love, light as well as endless happiness…………Always stay true to YOU Debbie!! ❤ ❤

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  21. After reading Ali’s beautiful poem, I was called to Forgiving Fridays and I’m glad I stopped by (it’s been awhile!). My mantra lately is, “I am enough”, those three words encompass self-forgiveness for me and I’ve hit the place you’ve hit, Debbie! I also learned that I don’t need to apologize for where I am in my life at the moment, this is so freeing…I’ve been lucky to have experienced a few a-ha moments over a very sweet summer and as always, I’m sure there’ll be more. Best wishes on finding a beautiful haven for your soul and Forgiving Fridays!

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    1. Oh Kimberlee, I’m so glad you stopped by too! “I am enough” is a beautiful mantra. You’re reminding me of a great Louise Hay article on self-love. It includes beautiful examples of speaking kind words to yourself. Here it is if you’d like to read it: https://www.louisehay.com/do-you-truly-know-how-to-love-yourself/

      Sending you all the best, and thank you for the well wishes Kimberlee. Come visit anytime for a virtual hug of forgiveness!! ❤

      Blessings,
      Debbie

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