It’s Forgiving Fridays! Today’s topic is forgiving & peace

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

Happy #ForgivingFridays everyone! Yay!

This is a creative prompt for you to write a post on letting go and forgiving, or what happens when you do that.  You can do your post ANY DAY this week!

It can be anything that inspires YOU to forgive and choose love – even if you’re struggling.  e.g.: write a poem, share a quote or video, do an act of kindness, forgive yourself or someone else. 🙂 I look forward to see what you do!

One of the most beautiful opportunities that self-forgiveness gives is the healing of memories.

Ever since I was a little girl, I had a part of me that felt unlovable. I moved when I was 5 because my mom and dad got divorced – from sunny California to NY in wintertime.  All of a sudden, I was without my dad, it was cold, and I was in a bad place with my mom. She had mental breakdowns from that point on until I graduated high school.

I remember walking through that house (it was my grandmother’s house, she took us in) and feeling so lost and alone.  It felt dark, my Nan and mom had a tense relationship, and I had a lot of emotions without having anyone to help me with them.

Now, here I am about to move – again!  One of the greatest actions I can take at this time is to connect with that little one and let her know she’s safe with me. And to simply be with memories that resurface, forgive any judgments, and love myself.  I have a neat practice to do this:

It’s a four step process I do every night before I go to bed.

You’re welcome to try it out too, it’s a wonderful opportunity to try out forgiveness.

Step 1:  Center yourself in yourself.

I put my hand on my heart and ask for the most loving presence to be with me. And I breathe in and out to come present.

Step 2: Invite your little one forward. 

Right now, I open my arms and ask my 5 year old to come over and I give her a hug!  I pay attention to what she needs.  After this blog I’m going to visit a home and she’s scared about that – will she be happy? J  (Pause for hug break!)

Take time with this step. It’s so important to be with yourself and to listen to that little one.  If you’re anything like me, you may want to rush through this.

Step 3: Do self-forgiveness. 

To do this, identify judgments that you’re holding.  This is anything that disturbs your peace. Hint: What are you upset about? What “should” have been different?  Then, forgive yourself for placing the judgment.  (For more on how to do self-forgiveness, click here

I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling scared to go see this home.  I forgive myself for judging myself as alone and lost in my house hunting.  I forgive myself for judging myself for not wanting to pause and feel these feelings!

Step 4: Give yourself loving. 

I talk with my little girl and ask what else she needs to feel loved. Then, I write it down so that I can get a greater understanding of what love is for me.  For today, she just wanted reassurance that everything is ok:

“Living love is making peace with old memories and reassuring myself that everything is ok. I love and support me.”

That’s it!!

If you decide to do this, I’d love to know how it goes for you.  🙂

I’d like to end with a quote from one of my poems and a photo that reminds me of the peace I experience when I really listen to myself and heal memories through self-forgiveness.  I took the photo during my travels last week at an event called a Blessings Gathering.  We shared our gratitude and asked for blessings for ourselves, our loved ones, situations, and the world.

Forgive.  In the forgiving is peace.  -Debbie Roth, DSS

I love you.

Debbie

**This is my contribution to Frank’s photo challenge, Scene and Sue Vincent’s Thursday challenge. Frank, I include a scene from my travels that encapsulates how I touch into peace with old memories when I forgive. Sue, your photo reminds me of the Light that comes in when I do Self-forgiveness. Thank you!**

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I am SO SO grateful for all of you who contribute to Forgiving Fridays.  I learn so much from you!  Here are contributions from this week & some from last week too – they were magnificent:

Etta of Simply Etta D. gave us a list of quotes that offer such wisdom on how to live from our hearts. I truly hope everyone reads them – they are incredible!!

Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking contributed a gorgeous poem that demonstrates how peace can touch us when we forgive. Includes two unique photos!

Pragalbha of Infinite Living shared a poem on living from our heart as an incredible place to live life from.  What a lyrical and happy poem – it inspired me!

Revived Writer shared how forgiveness helped her heal old memories of not speaking up at school.  What an act of love – and writing poetry now illustrates her incredible growth!

Miriam of Out an’ About gave us so valuable tips and techniques for us to let go of an overactive mind (God bless them). A wonderful way to forgive and be authentic!

Anita of Healing Words wrote a heart-warming poem on letting go of the past and opening to the blessings that come with change – and the divine inside of each one of us. So simple and powerful!  ❤

***

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story …  what opens your heart?
  • Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
  • Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you.
  • Have fun – you are awesome!

 

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44 thoughts on “It’s Forgiving Fridays! Today’s topic is forgiving & peace”

  1. Pingback: Change – Healing Words

    1. Thank you so much, Anita! It went great. I’m going back with my partner on Monday. 🙂

      Glad you liked the post and 4-step process. This is so meaningful for me personally in my forgiving work.

      Love your poetry — it’s a beautiful fit for #ForgivingFridays. 🙂 Have a great weekend, Anita.
      Debbie

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  4. A wonderful post as always. It’s going to take everything I’ve learned about forgiveness to get through the next couple weeks due to a personal loss, will write to you about it as some point. Right now I’m still raw and numb to the fact. You are such a brave soul, we can all hope to have an ounce of your bravery. Love you! x ❤ x ❤ x Happy Moving Day! 🏡

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    2. Oh Etta, I hear you. Sending you much compassion and love for your loss. Yes, write me anytime. And take time to be with yourself, Etta. That’s so important – to listen, to nurture, to accept, and to forgive when and as you’re ready. Know that I am here. YOU Etta D. are a brave Soul, and I love you.
      Love and Light,
      Debbie

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    1. Thank you, Frank. 🙂 I had a feeling you’d like the Rumi quote. Wonderful that you’ll try that four step process. If you want to, let me know how it goes. (My email is weloveyou@forgivingconnects.com.) And completely fine if you don’t want to!

      Have a wonderful weekend and thanks for your contributions to #ForgivingFridays. They are uplifting and so creative.
      Blessings, Debbie

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      1. I’ve been kept busy peeking in on my elderly father each day…I hope to wander through more posts over the next few days…I’ve missed so much beautiful content…I hope you have a great day, we are celebrating the rain this weekend as we’ve been enveloped in devastating coastal smoke these past few weeks!

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  10. We can never have too much loving or forgiving. What great habits to develop! Imagine loving and forgiving were on every school curriculum. Amazing world emerging… Loving you.

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    1. God, that would be magnificent. This reminds me of how J-R says that world peace starts with each individual. I love you Anne. So glad you’re here – you’re a gift to me and this blog. (and the world!) Blessings.
      Love, Debbie

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  12. Debbie, this again is such an authentic sharing of your journey to love yourself. Thank you for the steps and the actions you take within each one. Healing our past is essential to access a future that doesn’t repeat the way we have been living. The presence of love shines through all that you share. Have a beautiful week and keep shining your light.
    Ali

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    1. This is a really beautiful comment, Ali. Wow, I appreciate you. From my perspective, you get the essence of forgiving and the step-by-step nature of it. I love what you wrote, “Healing our past is essential to access a future that doesn’t repeat the way we have been living.” I was talking with a client today about how important it is to pause each time we take a step up to make peace with what’s present there — and this is a solid foundation to our next step.
      I am so glad you’re here, Ali, and that I know you.<3 Sending you love.
      Blessings,
      Debbie

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      1. Debbie, thanks for letting me know that what I share makes a difference in your journey. I have healed some difficult sorrows and know that the healing work of forgiveness matters. Keep on supporting others on their journeys forward to find peace in their hearts.
        Shine on my friend,
        Ali

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  13. You are so so kind to share your authentic process. It gives me more ease in my own being with myself, just by reading your post. This practice never feels enough! There is often so much that our innocence couldn’t process. It is indeed important to take the time with ourselves and not try to rush.

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    1. Oh Pragalbha, I’m so glad that my post helps you feel more at ease with your own forgiving process! That’s great. ❤ You're right, it's important to take time with ourselves … that's so self-honoring and full of self-love.
      I'm glad you're here and your posts are such beautiful contributions for #ForgivingFridays. Sending you many blessings, and have a wonderful week. 🙂 Love and Light, Debbie

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  15. Thank you for your honest and heartfelt post. It is very powerful to heal your 5 year old. Great work! I trust that her joy will continue to unfold into the beautiful adult she is today.
    Peace and love, Jordis

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  16. Such raw and honest emotion in this post Debbie. Thank you for sharing yourself and your five year old self, it can take a long time to heal old wounds but never ever give up on that beautiful girl. I love your steps for moving from your past into a future filled with hope. Wishing you love, peace and the blessings you deserve my friend. xx

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    1. Thanks, Miriam! One of the beautiful things for me is that I get to spend time with that little one inside. For a long time, I didn’t know how to be with that part of me — and forgiveness has helped me with creating a safe space inside in such a profound way. Practice really is so powerful! I’m grateful you’re here, Miriam. I experience your unconditional loving in your comments. Many blessings to you and all you touch. Your blog is wonderful! Love, Debbie

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  17. Pingback: Forgive and You Won’t Have to Remember to Forget – Poetry, Short Prose and Walking

  19. Hi Debbie!
    Your 4 step process is lovely. I will most definitely try it out. My parents divorced when I was 6 and I believe it changes something inside a child. Do I believe people should stay together ‘for the sake of the child’ No. Either way…it’s going to change a child.
    I also believe that there comes a time where we have to own our lives, the good and bad. The parts we created and the parts dealt to us. This process you’re sharing is a great step in that direction. You are so bright and brave to share it with all of us. Such a gift!

    Love you! ❤

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    1. You are such an incredible sweetheart. Thank you, Lacey. She did her best – it was a little complicated with my Mom’s illness. And, I’m grateful for exactly how it went….I’ve learned so much about acceptance, self-love and letting go. Love you Lacey!
      Debbie

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