Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Piano and My Mom

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

Happy New Year & Happy #ForgivingFridays everyone! Yay! This is an opportunity for you to share about forgiveness & post about it ANY DAY this week! See guidelines below. ❤ You can post whatever inspires YOU to forgive and choose love.  Maybe it’s a poem, or a photo or inspiring quote, or you can share a new project like I did.

Today’s Forgiving Fridays is Piano and My Mom.

I’m going to start piano lessons as a part of my Self-Forgiveness project!!! Wow. I’m so touched.

I played a little yesterday for the first time, and a lot came up inside of me. Like a hidden part is emerging. (My mom was a concert pianist & never taught me to play.)

Let’s back up a bit. I am really wanting to choose an area of my life as a project this year, something that I want to create more of, that can help me to grow and to love myself more.  My sense is that it’s around self-expression and creativity.

How does this have to do with Self-forgiveness?  Well, in my experience, when I move forward in creating what I want, the things that I’ve allowed to block me (such as old beliefs, hurts and judgments) come up inside for healing  – and what better way to let go than through Self-forgiveness.  🙂

Fast forward to a few months ago.  I won 2 free sessions at a music school when I was walking around a Farmers’ Market.  So yesterday, I went for a free Orientation.  And I played.  And afterward, I cried.

I didn’t realize how much I still had wrapped up around my mom and the piano.  She was an amazing pianist, and she minored in piano at Syracuse University.  At some point, she also developed a mental illness and ended up not really playing alot, instead getting government assistance to live on.

I was – and still am, to some extent – so angry that she didn’t use her gifts.  A part of my motivation for pushing myself like I do comes from my upset toward her for “wasting her life”.

Mom, I love you so much.  A part of Self-forgiveness is to bring loving to the places inside that hurt from long ago, to forgive myself for judging, and to rewrite the script.  Where I study Self-forgiveness, it’s called a Healing of Memories.

I am taking the love I have for my mom as a key to love myself.  I love that little girl who wanted piano lessons, who grew up watching her mom go in and out of hospitals.  I put my hand on my belly, and I say, it’s ok.  ❤   (and I pause to let hurt come up too.)

You may remember the phrase I use for Self-forgiveness from last week’s post, “I forgive myself for judging….”  I’m going to use it now to forgive myself for the judgments I’ve placed against my mom and myself:

I forgive myself for judging my mom as wasting her life. I forgive myself for judging myself for viewing my mom in a harsh way.  I forgive myself for judging my mom’s life as anything less than perfect.  I forgive myself for judging MY life as anything less than perfect, that there’s any place I need to go or anything I need to do to “succeed” or love.  🙂

I let all of this go into the most beautiful red Light, into divine love.  And I also say at least one thing I’m grateful for.  Today, I’m grateful for playing the piano so that I could get in better touch with my little one inside who needs love.  I’m smiling right now.  What a great simple tool to be with myself.

And I’m re-writing my script.  I’m affirming that my mom had a wonderful life, full of learning and growth that was perfect for her. I’m committing to love my little one inside exactly as she is and to let her know it’s all ok – including expressing my own inner musician. And to continue re-writing how I approach life by allowing and dancing rather than pushing or thinking I know what’s “right”. ❤ .

In the coming weeks, I plan to continue exploring my Self-forgiveness project and share my experience with you.  In the meantime, here are some photos of me at my lesson yesterday:  🙂

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I am SO SO grateful for all of you who contribute to Forgiving Fridays.  I learn so much from you!  Here are this week’s contributions:

Etta of  Simply Etta D. gave us a wonderful post (and very sweet photo) with an invitation to honor ourselves and others and to live every moment letting our love lead. Bless you, Etta! ❤

DeBorah of Roaming Urban Gypsy shared two photo collages – one with her new shoes and her cat Sylvester that show the joy of little acts of kindness and a second to highlight how gorgeous she is as she nurtures herself right before her birthday.  Happy almost birthday, DeB!!

Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking  contributed an exquisite photo and self-authored quote on how forgiveness opens our hearts to home…. and soothes us right when we need it!

Xenia of Whippet Wisdom shared a heartwarming set of photos illustrating the courage of her dog Elvor, when faced with a new situation.  A great example of stepping into the unknown territory of love! ❤

Pragalbha of Infinite Living gave us an enlightening poem and photo of letting go, surrendering, and opening to the freedom and beauty of unconditional giving. Truly awesome!

Miriam of Out an’ About wrote a beautiful blog with her experience of letting go when going through her mum’s house after her passing – what a demonstration of her loving heart!

Stella of Giggles & Tales contributed a gorgeous collection of quotes to understand the people who surround us and the lessons of life. Thank you, Stella!

And in case you missed it from my last blog: ❤

Donna of Wind Kisses shared her wish that we each soar and live fully –including a gorgeous song to open up and share who we truly are.  A first-time contributor!

Revived Writer wrote a beautiful poem on forgiving herself for the past and trusting she’s exactly where she needs to be – and renewing with the blessings of the New Year!

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If you have a goal you’d like to bring forward this year, a dream that whispers or sings in your heart, I’d love to hear about it.  It can be so supportive to share in a community of people who care about you.  ❤

I’d like to end with part of a poem from Rumi from “Delicious Laughter”:

“Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.

A nursing mother, all she does

is wait to hear her child.”

 

I love you.

Love, Debbie

***This post is my contribution for The Daily Post’s Evoke and Frank’s Challenge, Circle. Frank I am coming full circle to making peace with my mom and expressing the inner musician in me!***

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

mom and the piano

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story …  what opens your heart?
  • Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
  • Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you. 
  • Have fun – you are awesome!!  

 

 

 

68 thoughts on “Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Piano and My Mom”

  1. Deb, I can relate to the Mother/Daughter relationship. My Mom also had a mental illness and at first when I was a young woman I had a lot of anger regarding her but as I got older and especially after my Dad died, Mom and I really got to know each other. I understood her struggle and ceased to judge. As a Mother I know she did the best she could with me and my brother Stephen. She never allowed her illness to keep her from caring for us. As a result we turned out to be good citizens and good people.

    One thing that I’m getting more into this year is Pampering Yourself and Self Care. Women in this society are under a heavy burden. We have so much often too much on our plates and we often leave ourselves in last place. I began last year to carve out more time for myself and expressing my creative gifts ie photography.

    https://roamingurbangypsy.com/2018/01/12/my-beauty-transformation/

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    1. DeBorah, THANK YOU for sharing your childhood experiences. So many learnings you had / have! It sounds like you and your mom developed an honest and caring relationship, and that she was present for you and your brother Stephen. I also so honor how you are being your own self-nurturer – yeah! What an amazing gift to yourself and awesome contribution for #ForgivingFridays. I’ll go ahead and share this in Friday’s post. Big smiles to you, DeB. Blessings, Debbie

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  2. In terms of my Photography I am preparing for another Art Show. My photos were in a Photography Show last year and I’m getting ready for another Art Show scheduled in March. As I perfect my photographic abilities and craft I’m experimenting with light and dark, shadows, filters, etc…

    New York City provides a myriad of Photography opportunities. Here is an example: https://roamingurbangypsy.com/2018/01/12/my-neighborhood-at-night/

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    1. DeB, I didn’t know that you do Art Shows! Wow, that is great. I honor your creativity, expressing your heart, and how you serve the world with your presence. ❤ Thank you. I'll share this for #ForgivingFridays with a big smile. 🙂 🙂 Love, Debbie

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  3. I’m glad to hear that you are starting piano lessons and that you are healing! I play piano, too, but much less than I used to. Maybe that can be used as inspiration for my next poem…
    Thanks for sharing, Debbie. 🙂

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    1. You got it! So glad that you enjoyed this post and that it inspires your poetry. That is so cool. I see below that you in fact did right a poem. Really looking forward to reading it. ❤ Thank you for being here. Blessings to you, Debbie

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  4. Hi, there!

    In contribution to this musical/mother inspired facet of your creative self-forgiveness project — and as someone who is both terminally creative myself and and an avid researcher of present and historical others similarly afflicted — here’s an offering or two of insight…

    In the fine arts we border on true magic. Scientifically, it’s as impossible for a classical musician to recognize, process and implement every bit of data (key signature, volume, attack, dynamic, termination, mood, tonal quality, accidentals, phrasing requirements…) for every single note in a thirty-second note run (for the layman: very, very fast) as it is for a bumblebee to fly.

    The history of those able to accomplish these impossibilities is so rife with every conceivable sort of neural instability that it’s almost more difficult to find creative geniuses on record without serious defects in their nervous makeup than with. (I have a whole essay on this subject that I can send you if you wish).

    In such a context, we must understand that even the gritty will required to perfect our craft in the first place, that the achievement of any stretch of professional life whatsoever, is a thing in our eyes beyond admirable — and very much beyond most of us.

    I relate to everyone as my brother, bar none. Some of my brothers have been sucked up and spit out by our nation’s prison juggernaut and somehow managed to make it back with good hearts intact. They tell me our cages are chock full of absolutely brilliant artists, musicians and writers. They just couldn’t make what was in their hearts and what was outside their windows match up in a way that worked within the system.

    Your mom actually did great.

    And, a word about the lessons: Due to her sex, generation and societal mileu, no doubt every other person in your mother’s world tried to dumb her cosmic gift down into a Sunday School penny ante part time toddler teacher thang. She would have developed a raging allergy to any interaction which mixed the two energies she was always having to strain so hard to keep distinct, in others’ souls and in her own.

    Also remember that, for whatever reasons, you were jealous of her music, and no doubt presented a perfect fund of toddler sized distractive technique. The manifesting of musical impossibilities naturally requires great — nearly superhan — concentration. So, there you might have some explanations of that behavior as well.

    I hope these two insights, coming from a lifelong poet, playwright, composer and musician, may assist you in some degree with your personal question for the sweet forgiveness which you assist so many others to explore.

    Your sister in the Light,
    Ana

    Oh, PS, speaking of the Light: You might want to experiment in the pink lights, see if they do the job a bit more mildly than the red — they are all heart oriented shades in descending variants of passion.

    Big tight hug. 🤗

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing, and for being here, Ana. You are clearly a creative Soul and I’m sending you much Light and love. You remind me of the many perspectives of forgiveness. Thank you. Many blessings, Debbie

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      1. What a very wonderful affirmation you’ve taken the trouble to write to me — and of course because your motivations are of the purest it’s absolutely synchronistic to a moment of deep need to receive it on my part.

        I’m very grateful, and promise to meditate upon the appropriate forgivenesses as my day unfolds — no no no, let’s say this: as my day BLOSSOMS…

        See? Your intense, sweet energy at work, doing it’s thing, kind of like balm of extract of syrup of honeyed sweetness

        Thank you for being my friend, and have a turbo-blessed day 😘

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  5. Oh Your post is so deeply touching and soothing as always! Your sharing gives so much acceptance to the little one inside me and nudges her to speak up – what are you feeling limited at dear little me? – you are so right, so much healing comes up when we look up to success in new areas, that is the purpose of everything anyway! Love and Light always!

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    1. Pragalbha, thank you so much for sharing! You have such caring in the way that you work with yourself, glad to hear you connecting with your little one. I also really appreciate your wisdom, that you see everything as an opportunity for healing. What a gorgeous perspective. ❤

      I am so glad you are here and for all you bring, Pragalbha.

      And thank you again for your poetry. It is exquisite. Great contribution for Forgiving Fridays. Many blessings!
      Love, Debbie

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  7. This is a great post, Debbie! Playing the piano can be a healing activity for you as well as supporting a connection with your mom. When you played, did you feel closer to her spirit? I hope so! Good luck with this and your on going forgiveness project. It’s inspiring and lovely to read about. Blessings to you! Love, Mary❤

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    1. Oh thank you Mary. That’s a great question. I don’t know that I was aware of feeling closer to her Spirit. It’s a beautiful intention, to connect with the essence of love and caring of my mom’s Soul. ❤

      I'm so glad you're here, and that you enjoy reading my blog. You are welcome to contribute to #ForgivingFridays anytime! (If you don't know how to do the pingback, you can email me at weloveyou@forgivingconnects.com, or just post the link in a comment on my blog post.)

      Have a wonderful week, Mary. Much love, Debbie

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  9. Thank you for sharing the story of your mum and the piano Debbie and what a wonderful prize to win while walking around a farmers’ market – someone is looking after you here and it may even be a gift from your mum from beyond the rainbow 💜 xxx

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    1. Aww, Xenia, I love that. ❤ Thank you for reminding me how supporting we each are. It's like the Universe conspires to help us have the experiences that truly serve our greater awareness. I'm ready and willing.

      You are wonderful. Thanks again for your contribution this week. Elvor and Pearl are stars 🙂 Please give them hugs for me, and have a beautiful week ahead — Blessings, Debbie

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  10. Debbie, I especially love what you shared in this post. You are seeking to understand yourself and paving the way to forgiveness. In healing our past we can create a new future for ourselves. The piano project sounds like a perfect way to do this. I look forward to reading the unfolding as the year goes on.
    Sending healing love your way.

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    1. Thank you so much, Ali. You really get what I’m saying here about healing and understanding. Funny, because I just wrote something similar in response to your (very beautiful) poem for #ForgivingFridays this week!

      I’m so glad you’re here with me on this path of forgiving. It takes a lot of courage. You inspire me, Ali. ❤
      Love and Light to you — Debbie

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  11. Pingback: Shedding Shame | flashlight batteries

  12. Thank you (as ever) for sharing your heart…your words bring to mind memories of listening to my Mom playing the piano as I was growing up and the letting go I’m working on now as I care for my Dad…letting go of judgement, stepping back as he makes his way on his own journey so different from mine…your tender words are a good reminder!

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    1. Oh Kimberlee, you are so welcome! I’m glad that it touched you, and it sounds like you have tender experiences with your mom and your dad. How profound that you are in the process of letting go in regards to your Dad. That is so freeing. Sending you much love, Light and blessings every step of the way. Thanks for being here, Kimberlee. ❤ Debbie

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  13. Hi Debbie, it’s precious of what you’re doing to go through the healing process and find the meaning of what happened to you when you had no control of the impact in your younger life. Gaining insight of what happened, and how you felt is so important in removing the obstacles that blocked your fullness of the presence. I hope that through this process you could understand the limitation of your mum when you wish she could have taught you piano lessons. I’m so glad you now say to your mum that you love her.

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    1. Oh Miriam, thank you! I was able to understand better the higher perspective …. my spiritual teacher has mentioned that if we accept and cooperate with what is, understanding appears. It is my experience more and more. ❤

      I love what you wrote about the fullness of presence. I was able to say I love you to my mom before this, and in doing the Self-forgiveness work, I'm experiencing a fullness of this presence of love.
      Bless you Miriam. Thanks again for your loving and caring, it's palpable.
      Debbie

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  14. Pingback: Poem to My Piano | revivedwriter

    1. Oh I just read your poem, it is simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing your creativity, your willingness to forgive yourself, and your creative love. ❤ I am glad I read this to start my Monday! I'll share this for #ForgivingFridays this week. Sending you (and your piano playing) blessings, Debbie

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  18. Why do relationships with moms have to be so tricky? How amazing she had that talent though and how exciting that you are going to explore it. I’m looking forward to hearing about your lessons, Debbie.

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    1. Lacey, thank you!! I think moms bring up such vulnerable places inside of us, at least for me. A part of what I’m working on is loving all the parts of me that my mom mirrors in me. It is a project of great love.

      My mom would have absolutely LOVED you, and your creativity and your kids’ inventions. (I gave her a mirror once that says “Good morning sunshine” and you and your kids remind me of that).
      Love you Lacey — Debbie

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      1. Oh my gosh Debbie, that is the sweetest and kindest thing I may have ever heard, thank you. It’s fitting too because our family’s song as always been You are my Sunshine.
        My mom brings up vulnerable places for me too. I know you are going to do well on this project!

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  19. I love that you’re rewriting your script Debbie and embracing that little girl by learning to play the piano. To me that really is coming full circle and will bring so much positive healing to you. Let me tell you from someone that loves to play guitar and sing, music is incredibly powerful and releasing. Enjoy those lessons my friend, it will unleash so many emotions from you and bring you a new appreciation of life. Sending you lots of love and warm hugs xo 💜

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    1. Oh thank you, Miriam! I read your comment, and I felt like you really understand what my process is with the piano and how I’m coming into greater resonance with the love and the emotional breadth that is inside. Your singing and guitar is amazing, fun, and so expressive – and I’d love to hear more about how you started with that.

      So grateful for you. I know we don’t always get over to each others’ blogs, and yet I feel an incredible connection with you. You have an awesome presence! Blessings to you and your family. Have a beautiful week. 🙂 Debbie

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      1. Yes Debbie, I do understand what you’re going through with your piano and learning it. I hope you’ll find it soothing and enjoyable. My guitar playing stemmed from long ago but I gave it up for many years. Mum actually didn’t enjoy it that much so it lay dormant for a long time before I finally decided to take lessons and embrace it again.
        Funny how I nearly wrote the same thing on my comment to you namely that although we don’t always visit each other I so often resonate with you. I agree, we have a lovely connection Debbie. And I send you lots of love and hugs. Enjoy your week. Xo 🙂

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  20. Pingback: Tanka: A Wonderful Life – whippetwisdom.com

    1. Oh Xenia, I am so touched by your contribution. That music video is fantastic – it’s so full of love and the majesty of life. And I love that you contributed this both for #ForgivingFridays and Dutch Goes The Photo’s weekly challenge – Frank’s challenge is so inspiring to me, as are you.

      Many blessings to you and Elvor and Pearl, and I’m happy to share your blog post this week in my Forgiving Fridays. Much love, Xenia ❤ Debbie

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  23. Hello dear Debbie,
    What a beautiful piece of writing by you. It had me captivated to see where it would lead to.
    I’m so thrilled for you that your life is coming full circle and you are now able to tap into the healing of creativity and expression through music. You sound absolutely excited and I hope this New Year’s project will bring you so much forgiveness towards your mum as well as so much acceptance and love for yourself. Goodness knows you deserve to feel proud of yourself.
    I was happy to read a post of yours again.
    Take care and best wishes as always from Di (ps. I do hope you received my email after your kind invitation. I have had trouble with emails leaving the UK!) 🙋🏻💝💝🌸🌸

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    1. Oh Di, thank you so much! Your caring is really evident – it’s like you reach out and give me a big hug. ❤ I did get your email, thank you for checking. Please do let me know if I can be of support in some way. I'm definitely your Light cheerleader here in the U.S. You are amazing and have such a big heart. Blessings to you and your family. I hope England is treating you with joy. Lots of love — Debbie

      ps – I start my piano lessons in early February. I just got a keyboard, a friend let me borrow one. 🙂 🙂

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      1. Hello dear Debbie,
        Thank you for your gorgeous and generous reply.
        Thank you so much, but you have done plenty for me already by your helpful emails and just thinking about me…
        It has meant a lot 💐

        Things are settling now that the new year has begun…
        Not long until your formal piano lessons begin, and I wish you all the best and lots of fun, as well as some moving times as your creative side is revealed…it can be very healing and powerful as I’m sure you have known in the past.

        Take care and hugs and blessings to you too, kind and caring Debbie 💕💕🌈🌈

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  24. Pingback: Frank Tassone Haikai Challenge #16 Freedom – Haibun – Ramblings of a Writer

  25. Love your happiness, it is beaming from you.
    I would also like to learn to play the piano, but most likely never will. All the best to you with that challenge.
    Here is my post -https://ramblingsofawriter2016.com/2018/01/18/frank-tassone-haikai-challenge-16-freedom-haibun/

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    1. Aww Elsie, thank you! I was really happy, you’re right. Something about creativity opens my heart to express such joy.

      Your haikai is magnificent. So true how pain can be a key to our freedom. It reminds me of the Rumi quote in this blog! “The moment you accept the troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.” Thank you for sharing your creativity with us! I’m happy to share your post for #ForgivingFridays this week, with gratitude. 🙂
      Blessings, Debbie

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  26. Pingback: Don’t Blow your Life Up | Infinite Living

  27. This sounds exciting Debbie–a new skill to enjoy and share!! You’ve done so much forgiving and I’m wondering if you’ve forgiven your mother for the complicated life you led as a child. It sounds so difficult. Love you friend and your openness and honesty, xox

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    1. Wow, Rhonda, thank you! This is an exquisite and helpful suggestion. I’m aware that I can make my life complicated as an adult, and I sense it may stem from my childhood. And I forgive ❤ Thank you – I so appreciate your caring. Lots of loving to you my friend.

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  28. Pingback: Good Morning World! | Giggles & Tales

    1. Oh Stella,this is amazing! What a powerful message on how we can live. I love it. I’m about to share #ForgivingFridays and I’m honored to add this post.

      My spiritual teacher John-Roger says, If you want to be happy, do happy things. 🙂 You really got that with your blog! Love it. Have a beautiful & happy day. Blessings, Debbie

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      1. Your words are always heartwarming. And I appreciate you, honestly. And your spiritual teacher was right. When we sow happiness, the universe records it and the joy we spread echo back to us. Have a great weekend. Blessings. ❤👌👌🌷

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  30. This chimes with me so much. I felt quite depressed at the end of 2017, but then heard about a dance class and had a sudden conviction of how good it would be to learn something new and creative. I vacillated for a bit, but finally took the plunge, and it has been the most uplifting and healing experience. So glad to hear it is working out the same with you. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by, Eleanor! I imagine that you’ve got a lot of blogs to visit, from all those folks who visited Nikki’s Meet and Greet. 🙂 Congratulations again on your new book – it’s a blessing to share and so courageous! Debbie

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      1. Doing my best to reciprocate all the kindness, certainly. 🙂 I’m only an occasional blogger myself, but will hopefully have more to write about this year. Thank you for the encouragement. xxx

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