Today’s Forgiving Fridays: My Story & Self-Forgiveness

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

Happy New Year & Happy #ForgivingFridays everyone! Yay! This is an opportunity for you to share about forgiveness & post about it ANY DAY this week! See guidelines below. ❤ You can post whatever inspires YOU to forgive and choose love.  Maybe it’s a poem, or a photo or inspiring quote, or you can share your story of forgiveness like I did.

Today’s Forgiving Fridays is my story … and the peace of Self-forgiveness.

I spent many years of my life in harsh self-judgment and criticism, including struggling with food addiction. In my late 20s, I connected with a spiritual teacher and committed to love myself.  As I lifted up in awareness, I became aware of blocks I put in the way.  I’ve worked my process to look at those parts of myself I’ve judged and make peace with them.

I also experienced the murder of my mom in my 30s, at a time when I was already practicing forgiveness. My mom would have been the first one to forgive the person who killed her. I’m taking it a step further to forgive myself for judging that the situation is anything less than perfect.

See, one of the biggest keys for me is Self-forgiveness.  Self-forgiveness starts inside and is so simple: it’s me forgiving myself for judging myself or others as right or wrong.  That is a profound shift from the usual way of doing forgiveness.  This means that it’s not really about me forgiving someone else, or even myself as a person.  It’s about me forgiving myself for the judgment I placed.

I use a simple phrase to do this: “I forgive myself for judging….”  (For example, I forgive myself for judging my body as ugly. Or, I forgive myself for judging my mom’s murder as wrong.)

Then I pause to let it go.

And say at least one thing I’m grateful for.

Simple? Yes.  Easy?  Well, it takes practice. 🙂

One of my favorite things about Self-forgiveness is that the very things I judge are keys to making peace with myself.

ram dass homeEach time I judge, I have the opportunity to look at it, accept it, and forgive myself for judging – to heal one more issue and see myself in my exquisite beauty.  Everything that comes into my life is a blessing to help me do this.  Everything.

Another of my favs is that I don’t need to know how to forgive.  Or let go.  I just need to be willing to forgive, and my heart will do the rest.  And angels like my mom help me on my way.

 

I write this blog because through Self-forgiveness, I am having more and more experiences of loving myself, and I want to continue to heal and grow and to serve others along the way.  I offer this blog as a space for you to explore and experience forgiveness too.

Ξ

In the coming weeks, I’m planning to choose an area of my life where I’d like to bring in forgiveness and growth, and share my experience with you.  For today, here are some photos of me with my first-ever smoothie from my new Vitamix!  This small act is a culmination of many years of Self-forgiveness, and drinking it really touched me – I am learning from the old & receiving my loving in a new way.  ❤

 

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I am SO SO grateful for all of you who contribute to Forgiving Fridays.  I learn so much from you!  Here are this week’s contributions:

Etta of  Simply Etta D. gave us a wonderful post with an invitation to approach the new year with altitude, courage, and willingness to stand tall in who we are. Bless you, Etta! ❤

DeBorah of Roaming Urban Gypsy shared two photo collages – one to illustrate the joy of being with her brother Stephen and a second to highlight how he is a ray of sunshine in her life.  Great reminder of how love blesses us!!

Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking  contributed an illuminating poem and photo to illustrate the power of grace and forgiveness in our lives …. and how we can enjoy the ride!

Donna of Wind Kisses shared her wish that we each soar and live fully –including a gorgeous song to open up and share who we truly are.  A first-time contributor!

Revived Writer wrote a beautiful poem on forgiving herself for the past and trusting she’s exactly where she needs to be – and renewing with the blessings of the New Year!

Nikki of A Kinder Way contributed a heartwarming blog post on how important it is to treat ourselves with kindness, say “no” when we need to, and be our own best friend. Thank you Nikki!

Xenia of Whippet Wisdom shared an exquisite tanka on the mystery in the beauty of what’s around us. So full of thanks for the New Year, as are her two adorable dogs, Elvor and Pearl 🙂 .

Miriam of The Shower of Blessings wrote a beautiful blog with her prayers for herself and her family for 2018 – what a demonstration of her open heart!

Stella of Giggles & Tales contributed a gorgeous prayer of peace and love for our planet – and she is such a peace bearer of joy.  Welcome back, Stella!

And in case you missed it from my last blog: ❤

Ali of Flashlight Batteries gave us a profound poem on looking through the eyes of love in the midst of uncertainty, and how forgiveness helps us to see into the miraculous!

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I have a deep prayer for all of us to come together to share our wins, our challenges, and our learning with forgiveness.  To choose love instead of fear. To experience the peace that is ALWAYS present, no matter what the conditions.  To speak kindness to ourselves and others – and to see the Soul (the presence of love) in each of us regardless of the outer differences.

I’d like to end with a quote from one of my spiritual mentors, John Morton:

“We are all gathered here as a process of peace. This is a life long process. It is the presence and the vibration of peace. Being aware of this is a blessing of peace.”  ~John Morton, DSS

I love you.

Love, Debbie

***This post is my contribution for The Daily Post’s Growth and Frank’s Challenge, Recycle. Frank I am using all of my experiences, looking at old beliefs, and recycling them through forgiveness as needed!***

 

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story …  what opens your heart?
  • Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
  • Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you. 
  • Have fun – you are awesome!!  

 

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76 thoughts on “Today’s Forgiving Fridays: My Story & Self-Forgiveness”

    1. Aww thank you, Andrea. So glad to know you as well – I am inspired and moved by your blog. You are amazing, and your caring comments mean a lot.
      Very cute pencil icon. 🙂 Reminds me that nothing is set in stone … this inspires me to creativity and fun with the process of learning. I love it! Great direction for 2018.
      Have a gorgeous week!! Love, Debbie

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  2. Happy New Year, Debbie, and a great way to start it off with this post!

    You’ve hit on something extremely important, of which all of us need to be aware: we cannot throw ourselves away and start anew, as there’s only one of us; rather, we need to recycle ourselves to become better all the time, which includes acceptance of all that has happened in our lives.

    Fantastic post, and thank you for another inspirational Friday!

    Frank

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    1. This is exactly it, Frank! I’m so glad you got where I was going with this blog. Each time I thought about the theme recycle, I heard “look at something old in a new way”. I love what you wrote about acceptance. It’s one of my greatest keys for forgiveness and loving myself. Thank you for this week’s photo challenge, it really inspired me to greater learning. A true blessing.

      Have a wonderful week. Hope you and your wife are doing great,
      Love, Debbie

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  3. Greetings Deb! That Smoothie looks delicious! For the Holidays I actually treated myself. I rarely buy anything for me but I decided to get a few things. I really needed a pair of Sneakers so while I was with my brother Stephen I purchased a nice pair. Self-care and pampering are something that all Ladies need. So here are photos of my New Kicks and my cat Sylvester who is always a Treat. Gotta Love that Tuxedo Kitty!

    https://roamingurbangypsy.com/2017/12/30/new-kicks-same-sylvester/

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    1. I love, love, love your Kicks and the photos with your cat Sylvester. Adorable. Sylvester looks so satisfied and happy. What a wellspring of love. I’m so glad you’re taking such good care of yourself. Little acts can build up such a wellspring of loving inside, at least in my experience. What a fun way to document it. 🙂 Fantastic photo collage!

      Thanks for sharing this for #ForgivingFridays, I’ll be sure to highlight it along with your second post below. You are awesome. Blessings to you and Stephen and Sylvester — Debbie

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  4. That was a very nice quote by Ram Dass about all of us walking each other home. I also agree with what you wrote: “the very things I judge are keys to making peace with myself.” What we judge we bring to our awareness. They are our keys.

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    1. You said it, Frank! I love that. Awareness is one of the greatest keys I know to expand and grow. Judging brings to our awareness an area in need of healing and loving. ❤

      You have a wonderful perspective. I'm so glad we connected on wordpress. Have a blessed week — Debbie

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    1. You are amazing, DeB! I love how you are Self-nurturing, and your smile in this blog is brightening up wordpress. Thank you for sharing this for #ForgivingFridays, I’ll be sure to highlight it in my post.

      What I particularly love about this is how joy-filled you are, and how you are expressing the importance of taking care of ourselves in our day-to-day life. Thank you.
      Blessings & love to you DeB, 🙂
      Debbie

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  7. Debbie, thank you for continuing to bravely and openly share your journey with forgiveness. This was my favorite part of your post, “…I don’t need to know how to forgive. Or let go. I just need to be willing to forgive, and my heart will do the rest. And angels like my mom help me on my way.” We humans think that thinking is the way. What if we just choose to seek to understand the other with our heart? I believe this would change our experience. I share your drive to learn and grow in forgiveness toward myself and others.
    Thank you for sharing my poem as part of your post today.
    Keep shining your beautiful light.
    ali

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    1. Ali, I am so touched by your comment. Understanding each other with our hearts, so beautiful. 💜 This is an amazing way to live.

      I really get your intention to forgive. I’m honored to walk this path with you!

      Blessings, and thanks for your contributions 😄
      Debbie

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  11. Thank you for sharing both your own story and the other contributions here Debbie. I love the quote from Ram Daz too. ‘We’re all just walking each other home’ is so simple and so true. Your smoothie looks delicious and we wish you a very happy and blessed week ahead :o) xxx

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    1. Thank you, Pragalbha! I’m so glad that my blog opens a space for you to forgive, to accept and to grow. Having your presence here on my blog is a gift. I love your poems and other contributions for #ForgivingFridays. They bring in a mystical and lyrical quality to experiencing forgiveness. (Like Rumi!) ❤

      I saw your post for this week's #ForgivingFridays …. so valuable. Thank you! Have a blessed week. Love, Debbie

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    1. Thank you, Gabrielle. I’m so glad you’re here. Happy that you enjoyed the post, and yes isn’t the Ram Dass poem great? Grateful to know you…. you bring a loving presence to my blog. 🙂 🙂 Blessings to you, Gabrielle! Debbie

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  16. My most recent discovery around judging is that I am becoming more sensitive to when I, or a coaching client, is expressing judgment. My body goes into a subtle contraction, almost unnoticeable. But it is there. As I learn to bring the heaven within me into my expressions through to this earth, I am getting opportunities to keep the expansion coming. If all of that makes any sense! It is all about blessing.

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    1. This is beautiful, Anne. Thank you! Firstly, I appreciate your awareness regarding what your body does when you’re judging. Subtle and yet such clear messages!! Also, I sense a flowing love coming from within you to bless and lift up any areas of judging that you’re aware of. ❤ Love it and you.
      So glad you're here. Blessings my friend xo,
      Debbie

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  18. Beautiful post Debbie full of self forgiveness and a real sense of moving forward. It takes time and there are days when we feel as though we’re either going backwards or standing still but be proud of where you are. You’re on a path of peace and joy. Wishing you a beautiful fulfilling and calm journey in 2018

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    1. Lacey, I so hear you! Maybe gratitude can show you the way. For example, I did a workshop once where I asked participants to bring to their awareness something they’re grateful for. Then they worked with self-forgiveness for something they were judging. Neat! ❤ A key in that is to open your heart, it knows the way already (I'm still working on all this too!)
      I love you Lacey. Be in touch anytime, and have a great week! Blessings, Debbie

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    1. Got it, Xenia. As I wrote in your blog post, I am so touched by this post! Elvor is a true spiritual warrior to step forward into the unknown with great love. ❤ I really relate. Happy to share this for Forgiving Fridays tomorrow. Blessings xoxoxo Debbie

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  26. Hi Debbie,

    This post was another great share from you. Thank you.

    I’ve used quotes as my entry for the week. It’s about understanding the people who surround us and the lessons of life. I hope you will have a wonderful weekend as you continue to share love all around you.

    Remain Blessed and keep blessing humanity with your positive influence. Hugs. 🙂 😉

    https://simpledimplesite.blog/2018/01/11/good-night-giggles-169/

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    1. Beautiful, Stella – yay! Thank you for your contribution this is great. 🙂 I’ll go have a look now. Perfect timing, I’m just about to post for #ForgivingFridays.

      I am so honored and blessed to share this walk of peace with you. You are inspirational, and I love your joy and willingness to show up and choose joy!
      Love, Debbie ❤

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      1. You’re most welcome. Who wouldn’t want to come to a place filled with positive affirmations and goodwill? I love the peaceful ambience of your blog and the goodness it represents. Have an amazing weekend. Cheers. 🌷👍👌❤

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    1. da-AL, you are an incredible sweetheart! Thank you. 🙂 Many blessings your way. ~Debbie

      ps: interesting that you used the word “sunshine” – my mom used to say that to me, and I did a post subsequent to this one about drinking a greens juice from a cup that says “Cup of Sunshine”. ❤

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    1. Thank you, Maniparna! It’s so fulfilling to share with everyone. 😊 I’m just starting a blog series on Self-forgiveness and Money – it’s going to be great! So excited for that. Have a wonderful 2019. I’m touched by your comment. Blessings to you, Maniparna.
      Debbie

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