Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Speaking Kindness to Myself :)

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

Happy #ForgivingFridays everyone! Yay! This is an opportunity for you to share about forgiveness & post about it ANY DAY this week! See guidelines below. ❤ You can post whatever inspires YOU to forgive and choose love.  Maybe it’s a photo or inspiring quote, or a poem, or you can share about b eing kind to yourself & others like I did.

***This post is my contribution for The Daily Post’s Serene and Frank’s Challenge, Build. Frank I am building a way of being with myself that is kind, accepting and true. Thank you!***

Today’s Forgiving Fridays is speaking kindness to myself.

I grew up in a family with a lot of chaos.  My mom was mentally ill, among other things.  In this environment, I did not experience a lot of kindness for the growing up process – especially with making mistakes.  Maybe I also took on the role of being the “good” girl so that mom would be ok.

Fast forward about 40 years.  Here I am still trying to be the good girl to myself and others, and especially with people who mean a lot to me.  It’s not working out very well, firstly because it’s not authentic, and second, because I’ve continued not being kind in my relationships.

So much so that I thought I lost a few relationships this week that are meaningful for me.  What I realize is that I just want to be me.  To simply forgive myself when I miss the mark. And to take a deep pause and receive my own loving.

I got myself flowers on the day when I felt the worst, the most alone and self-critical.  I didn’t take in this act of kindness, and it’s time to do that now.  (Pause for breath!!)

Pausing is something I missed until I wrote this blog!  It is building my ability to receive love.  Here are a few photos & a video I just did to help me 🙂

Flowers of love early this morning!
I’m smelling my favorite flower – pink daisies

 

Just the simplest act of kindness is building my awareness of another way of being with myself, and others.  A way of being that is loving, tolerant, accepting and honoring.

I don’t really have a lot more for today.  I’m still working this – and you know what?  I’m so ok with that!  (I saw this really great quote from a book, “Momentum: Letting Love Lead” on letting go of struggle – so good for forgiveness!  See below)

One more thing: No matter what I do, or how I act, I am inherently love.  I don’t need to work on this, it just is.

****

I am SO SO grateful for all of you who contribute to Forgiving Fridays.  I learn so much from you!  Here are this week’s contributions:

Etta of  Simply Etta D. shared her exploration of looking inside and learn what her heart is calling her to do – and to go for it! Great post, Etta.

DeBorah of Roaming Urban Gypsy shared two beautiful photo collages with her brother Stephen during the holidays – a Soulful strut and in Grand Central Station – that illustrate the power of love to uplift and heal.

Elsie of Ramblings of a Writer contributed a gorgeous post on celebrating our bodies exactly as they are. What profound tips to nurture, accept, and love ourselves. ❤ Elsie, thank you and welcome!

Lorelle of A Mindful Traveller returns with a great post on creative street art in Singapore.  She writes: “Love the world we live in and appreciate what we are surrounded by.”

Frank of Poetry, Short Prose and Walking contributed a poem and exploration of sense with the help of Hafiz, Rumi and 8th C Japanese collection.  It moved me to a place inside beyond the mind and senses. Beautiful.

Xenia of Whippet Wisdom wrote an exquisite tanka that combined a theme of acceptance with laughter and joy.  She includes photos of her dogs running in winter worderland – a chuckle from nature.

Pragalbha of Infinite Living gave us a profound poem on how our love guides us perfectly on this grand adventure of life – and moves us into awareness of our own magnificence.

From last week 🙂 :

Miriam of Out an’ About gave us an amazing post full of gratitude, ordinary miracles, and kindness and patience with ourselves and others – and doing what we love.  All great keys to forgive.  A first time contributor!

And a post I found on a little girl’s call to help a family:

Patty of Books, Books and More Books! wrote an amazing story of a young girl’s inspiration to help families in Houston and the help she received.  Sharing it here because I see kindness and touching to one another as a profound key to forgive.

****

I love you.

Have an amazing week!

Love, Debbie

 

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

opening-my-heart-to-family-3-dec-8-2016

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Write a poem, take a photo, post a quote, share your story …  what opens your heart?
  • Include #ForgivingFridays in your tags
  • Create a pingback link to this post so I can find you. 
  • Have fun – you are awesome!!  

 

Here’s the quote from Momentum: Letting Love Lead

Have you ever found that the only good thing about suffering is when it stops?

When the suffering stops, you feel that you have learned something, so you think that the suffering was good for you.  But you could have learned without the suffering.

How do you let go of those things in your consciousness that no longer serve you?  The answer is to open up to greater love.  Love will go in and stir the pain that you’ve locked away from even yourself.  As it is stirred, it will begin to surface and release.

You have the ability to raise yourself.  Don’t contract from your experiences.  Bless them. Love them.  They are your ladders into expansion and higher consciousness.

You do not have to force your awakening or push the speed of your unfoldment.  You can, however, assist the process by loving yourself every step of the way, and by treating the people around you with kindness and honesty.

-John-Roger, D.S.S., with Paul Kaye, Momentum: Letting Love Lead

70 thoughts on “Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Speaking Kindness to Myself :)”

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  4. Thank you for sharing these lovely contributions Debbie and the beautiful quote from ‘Momentum: Letting Love Lead’. It is so nice to see you bought yourself flowers and that you were mostly drawn to the pink flower, the colour of unconditional love. We are always drawn to the colours that support us at an energetic level and the yellow is there to help with confidence, the green to help you open your heart to let the blessings in. Have a blessed weekend Debbie, love and light from all of us here xxx

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    1. Wow, Xenia, this is really beautiful! Thank you for sharing the meaning of the colors of the flowers. ❤ I really got a lot out of it. I love your contributions for #ForgivingFridays – thank you again for each one of them, and please thank Elvor and Pearl for me too! I hope you have a week full of Lightness, grace, joy, and giggles. 🙂
      Love and blessings,
      Debbie

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      2. Oh Xenia, I just read and commented on your blog post. It is magnificent, and you’re right, it fits in incredibly with this week’s topic. ❤

        My spiritual teacher John-Roger calls service the highest form of consciousness, because it includes loving. I see that shining through your post and the project you link to. Thank you so much.

        I am sending you and Pearl and Elvor MUCH Light and loving. Have a great week, and thanks so much for your caring. ❤ Love, Debbie

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    1. Thanks so much, Bernice. My spiritual teacher J-R has said, “Perfect vulnerability is perfect protection.” That really stuck with me and learning it by experience. One moment at a time, one peace walk at a time, one breath at a time! Blessings, and Light to you — Debbie 🙂

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  7. This is such a touching post, Debbie! I love the quote from “Momentum: Letting Love Lead.” Yes, the good thing about suffering is when it stops. I think if we love first, we see a different meaning of suffering. Have a wonderful weekend. Love and blessings, Miriam

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    1. I love this Miriam – what an awesome statement of positive direction!!! “If we love first, we see a different meaning of suffering.” Thank you for your comment, and your caring. I love you. So glad you’re here. Blessings, Debbie

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      3. Thank you, Debbie! I also thought that I couldn’t change my health situation, but I could decide on how to deal with it! Many blessings to you. Miriam 🙂 xox

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  11. Debbie,
    LET LOVE LEAD. Learning to love myself has been a much more difficult process for me than learning to love others. But it is a worthy endeavor. Thank you for openly sharing your journey and for this wonderful collection of inspiring posts.
    Be kind to yourself, Ali

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    1. Oh, Ali, I hear you. ❤ I've heard that the last frontier to love is inside.
      Today, I came present to the immense power of peace to help me stay calm, open my heart and share intimacy. Sharing that with you in case it's useful.
      Sending you big hugs. Be good to you, and thank you for the encouragement. Lots of love!!!
      Debbie

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  12. I can very much relate to the trying to be a “good girl”. I used to be one myself, I just didn’t want to upset the fragile peace in our home whenever it existed, it was too fleeting anyhow. And I didn’t want to cause any more sorrow to my mom. Turns out it’s not the beneficial to be a good girl only in the long run, it’s like slowly dying from the inside out. Turn out, the opposite of a good girl is not a bad girl either, but one that speaks her truth and stands up for her own needs and wishes. No more than that, no less. Bon courage to both of us on that similar journey!

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    1. This is really beautiful. I am so touched by your sharing. Thank you so much. Light and love to both of us on this walk of peace and authenticity. And self-honoring. Blessings to you I am very glad you’re here!!!
      Love, Debbie

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    1. Aww thank you! I even asked my little girl inside which ones she wanted (and that’s why I picked the ones with a pink daisy 🙂 ). So glad you’re here, have a great week. Forgiving Fridays is every day … it’s one of my mottos. Sending you blessings, Debbie

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  14. I truly appreciate your profound, beautiful and truthful posts full of compassion. Love, the right kind of Big Love is the only way …Self first …that’s how it spills on its own towards others. All there is is this pot of Love, if we put everything in the pot and stir it …the gifts get revealed. I love it how you got yourself flowers!!!

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    1. Pragalbha, this is amazing! Your comment is so full of truth and honesty, I kept nodding and smiling as I read it. (I’m smiling now too). Love is where it’s at. I just went to a staff meeting this morning (I work part-time at a spiritual org) and we listened to a meditation to practice the presence of the loving heart. It was beautiful.

      I hope you have a wonderful week, my friend. Thanks again for this comment, and for your gorgeous poem for Forgiving Fridays! Love and blessings, Debbie

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  15. I like the line in the song that says, “Will I always be defined by my mistake.” Then Rag ‘n’ Bone man says, “We are all One Step from Grace. His songs have lyrics with deep meanings. Really touches the heart and soul.

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  19. I feel you girl on this, it is difficult speaking or giving yourself kindness when it’s not been experienced. I grew up in a loving family but kids were not always so kind and loving, despite what I was told at home at school it was a different story.
    Wishing you Love and Light Debbie and lots of Loving Kindness!

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    1. Etta thank you so much! I really receive your kindness and encouragement. It means a lot!! And thank you for your contribution this week – and every week. You truly brighten up my blog. Have a blessed week, and tell your daughter I said hi. Love and Light, Debbie

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    1. Oh Frank, thank you! And thank you for picking the focus of build …. it really built on last week’s theme (no pun intended 🙂 ). I love participating in your photo challenge, as I think you know. You inspire me, as do the many ways that bloggers contribute to the theme! Blessings to you and your wife, Debbie

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  26. Oh my goodness I am just enthralled that I found someone else who is doing exactly what I am doing. I am older than you and have been on this healing Journey for many years but just lately I have really gotten to the point of where it counts. It starts with me. If I don’t love me no one else will. I encourage you with all I am not to quit no matter how hard the going gets. I started out in life coming from a background of negligence, abuse, and feeling like a big fat zero. I share openly from my heart my journey and along comes those times when I hear special words that I share as well. I have coined my camera as my therapist for through that means I bring Majestic Beauty not only to my soul and heart but to all of those who view my images. Keep on Shining your brilliant light and as you keep digging deeper within that light will only become brighter and stronger. I know how hard this Journey is and I am just so proud of you for keeping on. Much Love to you this day! 💕🌹💕

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  30. Oh Debbie it’s so important to be kind to ourselves and you’re right, you ARE love, even in those moments of self doubt and feeling critical, never forget that. Thank you once again for sharing your vulnerabilities, in doing that you’re also sharing your strength. Another beautiful post. Have a wonderful Friday my friend. Love and hugs from me xo

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    1. I love you too Maniparna! So glad you like the idea of getting yourself flowers. 🙂 I really hear your caring for yourself. That’s so great. How about getting flowers for yourself anytime (whether you’re down or not) – just because you’re YOU!!! And beautiful
      Blessings,
      Debbie xo

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment! It’s great to meet you too. So glad that you found me. 🙂
      You have a beautiful blog. Sending you blessings of love and joy this holiday — Debbie
      ps – I think it’s great that you’re studying medicine. ❤ ❤

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