Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Letting Go of Blame

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

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Happy #ForgivingFridays everyone!  Post about forgiveness ANY DAY this week!  A poem, short story, photo, video – anything that inspires you to forgive.  (See guidelines below ❤ ) 

Today’s Forgiving Fridays is healing an old pattern, blame.

I got really upset in my relationship this week.

He didn’t do what I wanted him to do.  I wanted him to take care of me.

God, relationship stuff brings up old memories, doesn’t it? I realized that growing up, I wanted my dad to take care of me differently.  I didn’t know how to handle it then.  Now I do.

I can forgive.  I can give my loving to the part in me that wishes I was taken care of differently.  I can look at what helps me to take care of me.

And I can express myself to my partner and really listen to what he needs too.

That last one – it’s new for me.  To create a safe space where we are both heard.

So here I go:

I forgive myself for judging myself for expecting my partner to take care of me. I forgive myself for judging my dad as not taking care of me.  I forgive myself for judging myself for holding on to this judgment for so long – until now.

I heard my spiritual teacher John Morton tell me if I am willing to forgive, grace will come in to take it.  I am willing to forgive.  Please, I ask for grace to take it and help me see the truth.

The truth is, my father did what he did.  It is not good or bad, it is my judgment that makes it so.  I love you, Dad.  All is really OK.

Looking at An Old Habit Debbie with computer June 2 2017

I am taking the time to stop and really listen to what I need.  I give myself all the love that I’m looking for.  And I am open to the needs of my partner.

I am so much more at peace inside. Applying healing to the parts inside that hurt is such a key to forgive.  And so is a willingness to show up and look at it.

*****

Last week, four bloggers contributed to Forgiving Fridays – beautiful posts!!

Robin of Words for Life contributed a beautiful poem of forgiveness and how it sets us free.

Etta of Simple Etta D. shared the great value of service in helping us to forgive and let go.

Lacey of BigandPinkyToes gave us an amazing post of how to forgive as a mom.

Gabrielle of Bone&Silver opened up about her relationship with her mum – and forgiving them both.

For this week, I invite each of you to ask:  Is there an old pattern that you’d like to let go of? What would you like to forgive?  Or another topic is fine too!  ❤  Remember, forgiveness starts within & you are so safe in love.

I love you.

Love, Debbie

 

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

A Loving Invitation J-R Quote July 26 2016

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Free free to be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Whatever inspire forgiving inside you.
  • Tag your post with #ForgivingFridays (here’s a great WordPress article about tagging posts)
  • Create a pingback link to this post. This way, I can create a post showing all of the submissions over the week.
  • Have fun creating your own form of forgiving, of loving YOU!!

 

This post is my contribution to two wonderful Photo Challenges: (1) Dutch Goes the Photo, “Old”:  Frank, I had the courage to heal an old habit; & (2) The Daily Post, “Friend”: Krista, I am truly learning that I am my own friend.

57 thoughts on “Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Letting Go of Blame”

    1. You got it, Gabrielle! Thank you so much for sharing your post with us. ❤ It is a beautiful read with so much wisdom on forgiving and letting go in relationship. And just going for the LOVE!! Many blessings, Debbie

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  2. Debbie, Great post, love your insight and open sharing always. Blame is a tough one and we can drown in it if we let ourselves. Today in my daily evening meditation I was speaking to God, well it was a bit of moan. I asked for clarity, and what came back was ” …only God can be your one support , one companion , your one trustworthy one, for he is beyond all negativity and can only love us… Keep me close to you ever second of the day”

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    1. God, Bella, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing! And I love that you do a daily evening meditation. That is incredibly self-honoring.

      I am so glad you’re here. Feel free (if you want to) to contribute to Forgiving Fridays anytime. Blessings – have a great weekend! Debbie ❤

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  3. Oh yes I have many old patterns that I’ll have a handle on and then something happens and those patterns try to creep back up. Way to recognize it! And thank you for allowing me to be a part of your beautiful Forgiving Friday!!

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    1. Oh Lacey, I love how you put this. So true. ❤ And acknowledging it with love is such a way to be gentle with ourselves, right? Thank you again for your contribution to Forgiving Fridays this week, it really touched my heart! Much love and blessings for your weekend. 🙂 Debbie

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  4. Such a wonderfully healing post Debbie. And yes I too have been guilty of holding onto blame in various situations but it serves no purpose does it. Open communication and acceptance and bring kind to ourselves goes a long way. I wish you peace my friend. xo 💕

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    1. Oh thanks Miriam. Such great keys to letting go of blame. I’ve especially been aware of the value of simple acceptance. It goes a long way! Anyway, I’m happy you enjoyed this post and am very grateful that you’re here, Miriam. Much love!! Debbie 💜

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    1. Oh wonderful Jhae – thank you!! Love that you’re contributing this to Forgiving Fridays.

      To do a contribution, please include a pingback to this post in your blog & include #ForgivingFridays in your tags. If you’ve never done a pingback, it is super simple. Just write a sentence or two where you mention forgiveness or that your post is a contribution to Forgiving Fridays. Then highlight the phrase that you’d like readers to click on to see my post. Then click on the icon that looks like a link. When you click on it, you’ll see a place to enter the link for my blog post. Here is the link to enter if helpful: https://forgivingconnects.com/2017/06/02/todays-forgiving-fridays-letting-go-of-blame/

      Let me know if you have questions. It’s a privilege that you are contributing this post. Thank you !! And yay.
      ❤ Debbie

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  7. It sure is easy to play the blame game, isn’t it! The other person has to be to blame, because it never could be us! 😊 Only when we truly walk in forgiveness as a daily habit, can we put the other person first, and therefore be the first to ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness with a pure heart.

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    1. This is beautiful, thank you for sharing and for your caring comments! ❤ It reminds me of a great question from a personal development seminar I went to called Insight: "Would I rather be right or would I rather be loving?" Sending you many blessings, and I acknowledge you greatly for your willingness to forgive. Debbie

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  9. What I hear is that there is always Light at the end of the tunnel, and along the way sometimes too. Darkness invites loving and with the loving comes Light. Breathing in and breathing out. God bless you abundantly in every way!

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    1. Oh Anne, thank you. I love the vision of darkness inviting in the Light. I did a painting once of grace, and it depicted a dark heart wrapped in the Light. ❤ You also reminded me of a great quote by St. Francis, "A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows." I am so grateful that you're here, and blessings to you in all ways, my friend. — Debbie

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  10. Pingback: Friends | What's (in) the picture?

    1. Oh, I’m so glad! You are a sweetheart, and I’m happy to have your presence on my blog. You are so welcome here. Sending you blessings of love for your week. 🙂 ~Debbie ps – I went to visit your blog, it’s awesome

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  13. Another great post I can truly identify with, I wanted my Dad to do things for me as well. I also wanted my ex to take care of me, then after a long while. After realising what I was asking for from people in my life first needed to come from me to myself. It that makes any sense.
    Love and light for always inspiring, motiving and forcing me to look within rather than without for the things that truly makes me happy. xxx

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    1. EttaD, thank you so much for sharing. You are so inspiring to me how you focus on the loving inside of you, and for the ways you demonstrate giving it to yourself and sharing it. And thanks again for your contribution to Forgiving Fridays – the gift of service is profound. 💜

      Much love and Light to you in your continued healing, expansion, and awakening. I’m glad you’re here and that we found each other. Blessings, Debbie

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      1. Thank you Debbie, I can say the same for you. I truly believe that like attracts like and the time we’re living in right now, gives the ability for people all over the world who share the same consciousness and attitudes the will to find each other so that we can band together to spread that message of love, forgiveness and gratitude to the masses. ❤ ❤ xxx

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      1. Debbie, thank you. I appreciate the reply. I hope you have had a wonderful Sunday. I like your blog. Forgiveness is so powerful. It benefits everyone, mostly of course the person doing the forgiving. Hugs to you.

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    1. Thank you, Frank! I agree it’s really important. Your photo challenge helped significantly. Thank you 😀 I hope you’re settling in after your Italy trip! Blessings to you and your wife, and to going through many amazing photos! -Debbie

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  17. Hello lovely Debbie,
    Another profound post from you. Thank you for sharing your week, as well as the posts from other bloggers. There is some amazing emotion in them all.
    It sounds like you and your partner were able to work through things after your honest realisation. That’s clearly where the magic begins….
    Thank you for a lovely post dear Debbie. Wishing you a great new week my friend 💐💜💐

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    1. Oh Di, thank you. You are right, we were able to talk in a way that really gave each other space to express ourselves. It is beautiful and a skill I’m definitely working on. Healing the places inside that need loving is a great first step – whew!

      Di, so glad you’re here and that you liked the other posts. I thought they were beautiful too. Sending many blessings your way, to a lovely week and a whole lot of kindness and love –Debbie 💜💜

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      1. Hello dear Debbie,
        I’m so happy for you both…to really be yourselves and express your vulnerabilities… that one beautiful part of a meaningful relationship.
        Yes, I did read them all…. amazing stories for sure.
        Thank you too for your warm blessings and words….🙏🏼💕💕

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  20. Love this post so much. For many years I felt a slight resentment / anger (not sure what it was) that my parents had done x or y, then as I progressed on my journey, I realised that they had been doing the best that they could for me with the knowledge that they had at the time. Today, having gone through two years of grieving after my mother’s death, I find that I see the world through her eyes and can understand where she was coming from. It’s so easy to expect a particular behaviour from a partner or parent, but that just means we are projecting our own values / behavioural patterns onto them. it has taken me many many years to understand that I need to take care of me myself, but where I might need extra help, to ask for it then. Love the John Roger quote too. Thank you for such a wonderful post. Blessings for a wonderful week Debbie 🙂 xx

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    1. Judith, I am so moved by the wisdom of your comments. You are such a courageous and empathetic woman! This sentence blew me away: “I realised that they had been doing the best that they could for me with the knowledge that they had at the time.” So true, and quite a revelation isn’t it? ❤ Thank you for being here. You add so much enlightenment to my blog. Blessings to your week, Judith! ~Debbie

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