Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Compassion and My Mom

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

This is my contribution to #ForgivingFridays – please join me on your blog any day this week!   It’s also my sharing for Dutch Goes the Photo’s Challenge, Broken. Frank, I took a photo of me as a little girl – photo may be lined, and the awesome baby is whole.  Thank you so much.

Today’s Forgiving Fridays is Compassion and My Mom.

It’s #ForgivingFridays! A day to do forgiveness and share about it on your blog. (if you want to! See below for guidelines ❤ )

Two beautiful bloggers contributed to #ForgivingFridays last week.  Nikki of Flying Through Water shared a video on how acknowledging each other makes a big difference.  Miriam of The Showers of Blessings gave us a poem on the freedom that comes with forgiveness.  Both posts illustrate how forgiveness, kindness, and caring can touch us deeply.   Thank you so much Miriam and Nikki – great blogs!

For me, I realized this week how I was still judging my mom. She was mentally ill, and I saw her as incomplete, or weak. Or even broken. I talked with someone about it, and I further realized that I see ME as incomplete, weak, and broken.

I feel stuck with it.

Time for forgiving. And this time, I really ask for help from Spirit – I don’t know how to do this alone:

I forgive myself for judging my mom as weak, or broken, or anything less than whole and complete. I forgive myself for judging myself as weak, broken, or anything less than whole and complete. And most of all, I forgive myself for judging myself for the similarities I see in me to mom, especially my sensitivity and my creativity.

Mom, I let these judgments go. And I accept you and love you. And I accept and love myself.

My mom gave me so much love. She taught me how to be kind. She taught me how to treat others with compassion. I take these gifts inside of me and receive them. Thanks Mom.

Funny, because I just came across a birthday card my mom sent me over 20 years ago. (She died about 10 years ago.). My mom wrote: “I think of you every day.” In the card was a photo of me as a baby. I took a photo so you can see it.

Mom, you gave me a loving space to express myself.

I don’t know if I’ve fully let this go, and that’s ok with me. What I do know is I’m committed to forgiving it all.  And to love.

“Compassion is a state of being. It comes through grace.” ~D. Roth

I invite you to join me in Forgiving Fridays, however that love and compassion expresses itself inside of YOU.

Thanks for reading. I love you.

Love, Debbie

Here are the guidelines of #ForgivingFridays:  

  • Every day is Friday!  Do a post today or anytime this week.
  • Free free to be creative – there’s LOTS of space for your expression! Whatever inspire forgiving inside you.
  • Tag your post with #ForgivingFridays (here’s a great WordPress article about tagging posts)
  • Create a pingback link to this post. This way, I can create a post showing all of the submissions over the week.
  • Have fun creating your own form of forgiving, of loving YOU!!

51 thoughts on “Today’s Forgiving Fridays: Compassion and My Mom”

  1. Oh Debbie bless you. So much of write you wrote in this post I struggle with too. I guess it’s a journey and consistent. Like I think I’ll be fine and have moved on from something, and then something comes along and opens a wound I thought was long healed.

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    1. I so hear you, Lacey! This may be a part of the process of forgiving … just going to deeper layers until it’s healed. That’s where acceptance and compassion come in (for me anyway! ❤ ) . It's all so ok. Love love love you, Lacey. So glad you are here. Have a wonderful weekend. Blessings, Debbie

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  2. Debbie, this is very touching to me. What a beautiful Soul you have as your Mother. How magnificently she shared her love with you. You must have been very blessed. I love how Forgiving Fridays is opening up a new world of forgiving.

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    1. Anne, thank you. I get that you really get the gift of my mom. So glad this post touched your heart. My mom would have loved you, very much. Forgiving Fridays is a great way to be more aware of forgiving! ❤ Love, Debbie

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    1. Thank you, Jennie! So glad you are here ❤ . And very well put – forgiving and understanding. One of my spiritual mentors talks about how understanding is being receptive, and that is my experience of compassion! Just relaxing into the caring of it. Many blessings to you and your students – I love your blog. ~Debbie

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  6. This one is also hitting home for me. There are people in my life (work) whom I have forgiven for past disrespecful behaviour, but I find myself angry with myself for not being able to let go of the behaviour as it continues. Someone asked me this week if I can’t find any generosity for these two people (it’s a complicated work-place bullying/harassment issue that has been going on for years), and I said no – I can’t. Because they refuse to stop the behaviour that has been pointed out to them as disrespectful. I am trying to find it in me, but I keep coming back to why does it always have to be me (and other colleagues) who take the high road when others are free to keep doing what they’re doing? It’s so complex – finding it in yourself to let it go, while at the same time making sure that people are held accountable for their actions. A constant battle. Anyway, thanks for your post today. It helps a little.

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    1. Hi Emily, thank you so much for sharing this. So touched by your awareness and your being really real with yourself. (One of my commitments to myself is not to B.S. myself). If helpful, one key I use is “understanding” — a quality that for me, is like compassion. When I accept myself and all involved best I can, cooperate with how life is, understanding just appears. Anyway, my friend, keep at it. I will too! Love to you. ~Debbie ps – maybe the photography you do is an opening to the beauty of the situation! Creativity is another key, for me anyway.

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    1. You are so beautiful! Thank you love, for sharing this. ❤ I am just a reflection of the wisdom that you have inside of you. I'm so grateful and honored to be of service to remind us to forgive. Have a wonderful day. I love you. ~Debbie

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  8. Debbie, this is a beautiful post. I’m happy that you forgive your mom for what her shortcomings were and accepted her as she was. Also forgiving and accepting yourself is all part of healing. How come we can forgive others so much easier than ourselves? Blessings to you, friend 💜

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    1. Oh Mary, blessings to you too. ❤ This is a beautiful, beautiful comment. Something about your words felt like a big, caring hug. You have a lot of wisdom, and the combination of acceptance and forgiveness is such a foundation for letting go. Light ahead to all of us as we step into greater forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness. My spiritual teacher John-Roger has called Self-forgiveness "the key to the kingdom". Boy is that my experience … and I am grateful to learn. Love, Debbie

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  9. Choosing to forgive is an act of love. Even though I value forgiveness that doesn’t make the process easy. I so appreciate the way you share your process. It is helpful to learn from your experience. Have a beautiful Friday.

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    1. Ali, thank you for sharing your wisdom on my blog. This comment really touched my heart. It is so true, forgiveness is an act of love. It is truly a blessing to blog my own experience in the hopes that it helps and serves others. So glad that is the case for you. ❤ Thanks again, and have a wonderful day (and Happy Easter!) Blessings, Debbie

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      1. My last poem is dedicated to you in honor of your work to support forgiveness in the world. The Reflection of Grace -https://flashlightbatteries.blog/2017/04/15/the-reflection-of-grace/?iframe=true&theme_preview=true

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  10. Hello lovely Debbie,
    Such an amazing and beautiful insight into the relationship between your sweet mum and yourself. I understand how it has created some emotion because I am also ‘very sensitive’ but had a mum who didn’t understand this trait and left some scars on this dear little girl. I cried very recently when I looked at a photo of myself as a youngster and just wanted to be hugged and cradled and told I was beautiful and sweet just as I was.
    I see that also, in this gorgeous image of you too Debbie. You are generous and sweet and I’m cradling you in my arms telling you about how much your creativity and sensitivity will one day be a force for kindness and bring people together with similar thoughts and feelings.
    Thank you my friend… may we all heal and love, and accept our sensitivity as a gift now 💕🌈💕

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    1. Di, this is a beautiful comment. Thank you, my friend, for your caring and your insightful gifts. You reminded me of a program I did in Spiritual Psychology, where we had a “Healing of Memories” class. Essentially, we took the little ones inside of us into our arms and said the words that we needed to hear then, at that time. Applying loving to the places inside that hurt is a key and blessing for healing. At least for me! ❤ Sending you lots of hugs and kisses, Di, from my little girl inside and the big one now. Have a magnificent day. ~Debbie

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      1. Hello beautiful 🌸
        Thank you for your gracious and kind reply…
        I’m so touched that I may have reminded you of something that you learnt that you may still find helpful.
        I’m following an amazing spiritual teacher and he also suggests we aim to say the words we’d like to hear now as adults, and that we wished we heard as children. He says it heals us as well as sharing loving words with the receiver. I think this is quite powerful for us both in this situation.
        Thank you also for the hugs and love from you now… and then, dear Debbie. I return them to you. Keep up your amazing work on your blog sharing healing for us all
        💕💕✨from Di

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  11. This was such a beautiful post… After reading this I went straight to my mum ad hugged her, apologized for my sudden mood swings and she was so surprised that I hugged her as I rarely do it. Time to make it a habit now.. I need to show her that I love and value her very much.

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    1. Oh Sukanya! This is so beautiful. Love that you hugged your mom. ❤ This is such a representation of loving kindness and caring. I acknowledge you! Have a wonderful day and sending you and your mom many blessings ~Debbie

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    1. Well said, and what that helps me see is that love has many forms and expressions. Happy Easter to you too! I trust that you are all doing something very adventurous (knowing your family 🙂 ) I’m going to an easter event on the beach in Santa Monica, Easter bunny and all. Fun! ~Debbie

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  13. How fun to see you as a little child. The picture is so cute! It’s great to hear that you can finally forgive yourself for not treating/thinking of your mother well. It’s also good that you found out what it meant, and that you actually saw yourself as incomplete and weak too. I really loved your story this week, it’s probably one of the best forgiving fridays you’ve had. (in my opinion) I also think forgiving family can be hard, I deal with it too. But it’s amazing to think about it and it’s amazing to read about it on your blog. Wish you a wonderful Easter, Debbie. Much love, Anne ♥

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    1. Thank you so much, Anne. ❤ I'm really glad that this connected for you. One of the keys I'm aware of is to let go of any belief or expectation I have (or had!) on how things "should" be …. and to forgive myself for judging all of it, best I can. With acceptance and compassion.
      Bless you dear Anne. SO glad you are here. 🙂 Sending you love & big smiles. ~Debbie

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  17. So many of us judge our parents for their perceived shortcomings. I know I have done in the past. I’ve come to realise though that they were doing the best that they could with the knowledge and resources that they had at the time. As I get older, I find it easier to put myself in both their shoes and understand where they were coming from. In essence, a place of love. Thank you so much for your thought provoking posts. What a beautiful snapshot of a lovely little girl playing too. Hope you have a lovely week Debbie. 🙂 xx

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  19. Beautiful to hear about your mother Debbie– I know a little of your story with her– I’m sure a lot of the goodness in your life comes from her sweetness. Lovely post. xox

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  22. I had that same dog toy! And have had a difficult mother all my life… your post reminded me that she was only ever doing the best she could… we all need to be more forgiving don’t we? Thank you, gabrielle in Australia

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    1. Gabrielle, you are so welcome. Moms are doing the best they can, and the thing is, so are we. I really learned a lot just from responding to your comment. Thank you dearly. Welcome to my blog, I am blessed to connect with you!
      Love, Debbie

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  23. That’s so nice that she thought of you everyday. I think of my kids everyday but almost never see them, they have always been too busy so far. But we’ll get together one day, I know we’ll have a good time then. God bless!

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    1. Sending you and your children so much Love!! Patience is one thing that helps me to forgive, and I just am glad you’re here and commented. Have a beautiful week. Debbie ps – God bless you too. 🙂

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