Today’s forgiving journal is freeing myself from punishment.
Oh, this blog is feeling a little hard to write. I’ve had a hard and emotional week. (This could be playing the victim, and it’s what I honestly feel right now and this is a blog where I’m real with what is present.)
I got a car, and I was initially so excited. It had been 2 months since I arrived in LA, and it’s not the easiest city to be without one! Then, I started feeling really shaky. Having a car means that I’ve really “landed” in LA. This is my home.
I didn’t really pause to take care of myself when I started feeling shaky. I just tried to push through the steps of getting it insured, getting to work, etc. Because of that, I ended up treating one of my best friends in a way that was less than loving. (She called right in the middle of all this, on a Monday morning.)
It is never too late to pause and love myself and love her. I don’t know of a better way to do this right now than forgiveness.
I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling scared to land in a new place, especially when I used to live here in a different way. I forgive myself for judging myself for not pausing to check in with me. I forgive myself for judging myself for treating my friend in a less than loving way.
I let all this go into the Light so that I may go free. I let all the upset go that I wasn’t very good to my friend, and then punished myself by not allowing myself to enjoy my car (and I forgive myself for that too!). Letting go means having my heart embrace all of me and say “It is ok”.
I am grateful that I can always take a pause, give loving to myself, and be grateful for all the blessings in my life. I am learning how to take care of myself and be a better friend to me and to others.
***
What is present right now is this: I may not have acted in a way that I’m proud of, and boy did I learn an immense lesson on the things that I need to do to act in loving and be the best Debbie I can be.
To my friend and most importantly to myself, I say these words of Hafiz, “May you forever bloom, for in the garden of my sight no flower I see can match your beauty flowering free.”
I love you.
Love,
Debbie
ps – this is my contribution to Dutch Goes the Photo’s Photo Challenge, Land. Boy, Frank, adding an “ed” to Land really made a difference 🙂 Forgiveness abounds. Thank you.
Hi Debbie, I’m so excited for your new car. Red color is a cheerful color. You wear a Marathon polo. Are you running a marathon?
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Thanks! So funny, Miriam, I just realized I was wearing that sweatshirt 🙂 I ran the NYC Marathon in 2001. (I’ve also run some half-marathons in NY and CA)
Lots of blessings and love -Debbie
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Oh, now you have a lot of chances for marathons.
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True! Nurturing a sore toe ❤ Would be fun. Blessings, Miriam I love you!
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Do you have a sore toe now? My niece also runs marathon. She has be to Ireland several times and other countries. I saw her FB of running Disney 1/2 marathon long time ago.
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Good for your niece! It’s a bit sore. Nurturing myself. Blessings, Miriam. Thanks for asking. ❤
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Yes, take care of yourself! Love, Miriam
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Life is one big lesson and one big opportunity to improve ourself. Lessons come to make us better. Humble us, straighten us, tell us to go slow.. They can be hard if we take them as hard, or they are a beautiful reminder and opportunity become better.
Hugs to you. Take care of yourself. I always remember Brigid’s blog – the art of taking it slow.
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Bella, thank you. Your comments really helped me remember that lessons are always a gift for us to grow in loving. Sometimes I forget (and that’s ok too <3)
Here's another line of that Hafiz poem… "Here, the mountain is no bigger than the ant; Turn not away from the blessings".
You're awesome. I love Brigid's blog too. 🙂
Blessings, Debbie
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We all forget including me that why my mantra is there is benefit in everything
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Very nice 💚 What a beautiful way to affirm yourself.
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Thanks for the reminder to pause. It’s always hardest to do it when you need it the most!
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Right?! I’m getting better with practice, that’s for sure. Blessings, Emily! ps – I was able to pause afterward, which is a definite win ❤
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Debbie, what a beautiful car. Continue to be kind and gentle to yourself, especially when feeling stressed or down. When you start to feel that way, slow down and pamper yourself in order to heal. I’m sure your friend understands and loves you just the same. Have a good week! Love, Mary ❤
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Oh, Mary, thank you ❤ Nurturing myself is so, so key. As I write this, I'm wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket. What a lovely way to love and care for ourselves.
So glad you are here. Kindness is a gift that you bring. Have a good week too! Blessings ~Debbie
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Thank you for your kindness and I’m happy you are here…I really get good out of your blog. All My Best, Mary💜
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Congratulations on planting seeds in your new hometown…and of course in purchasing your car. 🙂
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Thank you, Bernice!! 🙂 Very excited. You’re a sweetheart. Many blessings ~Debbie
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Thank you for sharing and reminding me to take a moment to check in…to breathe…and be loving to all!
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You got it! What an excellent synthesis of my blog post. Thank you. 🙂 I’m so glad you are here. Sending you many blessings ~Debbie
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Thank you so much, it’s a pleasure to read your words!
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Debbie, it looks like you have landed in a good way! May you get plenty of enjoyment from your car!
Frank
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Thank you, Frank! I’m so glad you do this photo challenge, it truly inspires and uplifts me. Have a great week 🙂
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Have a wonderful week, Debbie!
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WOW you are so very rich in lessons. How are you planning to reward yourself for your amazing expansion? I am ready to celebrate…. ! Loving you.
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Oh my gosh, Anne, that is an excellent question. Funny, I was just saying to someone today how important it is that we acknowledge ourselves. ❤ I'm going to go to meet friends at a wonderful cafe / coffee house in Santa Monica. And I'm going to drive there!! ❤ Celebrating us! Loving you too Anne. Thank you.
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It seems so apt that you have bought yourself a red car now that you have landed in LA. Red is the colour related to the base or root chakra, which at a metaphysical level relates to where we base ourselves in life and how we earn our livelihood. Because of your ‘uprooting’ and changing your ‘base’ the other chakras need to find their own new realignment. How we relate to others and express ourselves, how we use our power wisely, how we listen to our heart and find the balance with being true to ourselves again, how we express this verbally, how we trust our intuition and how we relate to our own spirit in all this process. It takes time to realign organically and when you do all this with love it will become easier and easier xxx
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Love is really the key, isn’t it Xenia? ❤ Thank you for the thoughtfulness of your comments. I love participating in this photo challenge with you. Hope you and your dogs are experiencing much joy of Spirit this week. Peace and blessings.
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☺💖
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Hi Debbie, how are you? Hope you’re feeling relieved after writing this post. It was actually really interesting to read for me since I’m following you for a while now and didn’t know you are living in LA. It’s so cool that you have an own car, and that you ‘landed’ in LA (as you said). Isn’t it great to feel somewhere at ‘home’? I think you shouldn’t feel shaky at all. If I were you, I’d be relieved finding a car and being at home in a place like LA. Are you and your friend on good terms again? When I have stress or when I don’t feel well, I can’t always be as loving as I want to be towards my friends, but after talking to them about how I feel, they understand why I acted so weird. We can’t always be the happy and loving person we want to be. Sometimes life is hard but if you take a pause and think about how you can be a better person, everything will be alright! Have a great week! – xx Anne
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Anne, you are a sweetheart! I am so glad that you are here. Yes, my friend and I talked after I wrote this blog. I had a better understanding of what happened for me, and that Self-awareness really helped. Compassion has a key for my communication, and we spoke and listened with compassion. Your comments on my car helped me to smile with the fun of having a car in LA. Thank you, Anne. Have a fantastic week… and hi from LA! Debbie
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Glad you’re alright again! Wish you a great week too!
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I think it’s fair to say we all have those moments when we are too hard on ourselves, and in domino-effect style, we end up treating others we care about in a manner that we instantly regret. And so we must remember to be kind to ourselves so that we can be kind to others. ❤
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YES! So true. My spiritual teacher John-Roger has given me a solid foundation: “Take care of yourself so you can help take care of others.” I am clearly still learning that one. ❤ Thanks for being here and for the humor that you bring into my life. Smiling is a big part of being kind and caring, and your blog is awesome.
Have a great week.
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Thank you! You too! 🙂
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Thank you for sharing your courage, awareness and loving forgiveness.
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Thank you for seeing these qualities in my blog. ❤ What a nice blessing you just gave to this post. Have a wonderful week ~Debbie
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Oh Debbie, we all say and do things sometimes that are less than perfect, we’re only human after all. Make peace and move on, hoping your friend is compassionate like you and understands. Congrats on the car, here’s to losing that shakiness and moving forward at a more steady pace. Big hugs to you xo
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Miriam, thank you! Having you as a compassionate voice on my blog is such a good reminder. I am very grateful for your presence.
My friend and I worked it out with a lot of love and respect, and a good dose of kindness and caring. Thanks again. Love and blessings – Debbie
ps – my car is so much fun to drive in LA. I named it after my mom (it’s my peace mobile). ❤
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So glad that you and your friend have worked it out Debbie. And how awesome about your cat. Have fun! Lots of love xo 😊
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Buona giornata Debbie 🙂
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And to you too, Simona! Beautiful day to you. 🙂 So glad to connect with you.
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You are the possiblity of love and compassion.
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Oh, Khurt, that completely touched my heart. Thank you ❤ Many, many blessings your way. ~Debbie
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Oh yes I could see how that would make you feel shaky. I think that’s understandable.
Also, love love love you new car 🙂
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Oh Lacey, thank you – both for the empathy and for the celebration of my new car!! Very excited. 🙂 I ended up having a beautiful talk with my friend, where we listened to each other with compassion and caring. Blessings to you, Lacey. Thanks for being here. ~Debbie
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Good friends can “fight” and make up!
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You really have this knack for blogging about things that resonate with me. I had a similar experience yesterday. Meaning a shaky feeling that I let over-power me instead of taking care of me. (If that makes sense)
This post actually made me tear up. You’re honesty never ceases to amaze me Debbie. I hope that you enjoy that car. Red huh? Fancy! 😉 ❤
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Oh Nikki, I am so glad that this post resonated with you. ❤ Yes, it completely makes sense! I relate. Be gentle with you, my friend. Give yourself a big hug of love. (I'm giving you a virtual one). Blessings to you — Debbie 🙂
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Sending one back. ❤
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Shared this in my Posts of Note today Debbie. ❤
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I saw that, Nikki! Thank you so much. I’m touched. Great post, by the way. ❤
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Your words resonate with me always. Congratulations on your new car! It’s LOVELY…loved the red… ❤
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Oh thank you. ❤ You are a sweetheart. So glad you enjoy my blog. It's lovely to have you. 🙂 Many blessings
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Always a pleasure… ❤
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I got a tad confused when you said that you lived there before? Did you go back for her? -Bruce
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Hi Bruce, good catch – thank you! I lived in LA for years, then moved to NY for a time and now I’m back in LA. My life set up is different right now – it’s an expansive and sometimes uncomfortable experience for me. Many blessings, and lovely to meet you -Debbie
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Hi Debbie– thank you for your heart felt post. I’m hoping and praying that you feel so at home here again in L.A. Glad you got the car– it’s such a sprawling place– and less exciting than NYC where things are more accessible. take care friend, xo
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Rhonda, thank you so much for your support and love – I really feel it. Love that you are here, and being in LA is nurturing and such a learning opportunity for me. I’m grateful and am doing my best – to love, to forgive and accept, and to practice kindness. Blessings your way Rhonda!! Love Debbie xo
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Hey Debbie– you seem amazingly kind and loving. Hoping you find your place to really feel at home here. hugs hugs!
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Congratulations on your New car Debbie ❤️ The colour you choose tells so much about your personality. I love it ! ✨ It’s warms my heart to see you smiling. And Thank you for the reminder.
Lot’s of love ❤️
Meg✨
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Awww Meg, thank you! It’s lovely to hear from you and reconnect. 🙂 Hope you are doing wonderfully!!! Love your blog my friend. ❤ Have a wonderful week ahead with love -Debbie
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That is soooooo very nice! Wow! Forgiving yourself is a hard task, but yet, you have find a way, writing. This is breathtaking! Love this! I really do. I thank you for forgiving yourself. As they all say, happiness happen the moment you forgive yourself! Keep living and keep on living! Congrats on the car! 😊
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Oh Oristel, thank you! This is such a beautiful comment. You brightened my day.
You are welcome to join in a new project Forgiving Fridays! (if you want to 🙂 ) This is where we can each do a blog post on something that inspires you to forgive, such as a poem or quote or just write your experience. Here’s a link with my latest Forgiving Fridays: https://forgivingconnects.com/2017/03/17/todays-forgiving-fridays-a-poem-on-the-labyrinth/
I am so happy to know you Oristel. Stay happy, and have a great week — Debbie
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Awww Debbie! Thank youuuu! I actually smile for the first time throughout the entire day! I’ve been all stressed-stressed- I will check out your blog! I love it by the way! Thank you and keep on living happily!
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I am just reading this now – thanks for sharing this beautiful reflection and story. You’re right, it is never the wrong time to shine a little bit of love and attention inwards. The quote by Hafiz is incredibly gorgeous. Wow! Thank you for the uplift, Debbie. 🙂
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You are so welcome. 💜 I’m glad that it uplifted you. Isn’t that a good Hafiz quote? It’s one of my favorites. Have a wonderful weekend. So glad to connect with you. Blessings, Debbie 😍
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Likewise! Big hugs. 🙂
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