Today’s forgiving journal is about creating a space for compassion.
My mom was one of the most compassionate people that I know. She put smiley face stickers on her wall hangings and her birthday cards. She sent me birthday cards like one month in advance. And she forgave me (and others) like it was second nature.
My mom also had a mental illness. And she was murdered when I was 35.
I have done a lot of forgiveness both around her illness, and her murder. What I haven’t done is forgive the parts of me that remind me of things about my mom that scared me.
Then, I had a PAP with abnormal cells so I needed to have a biopsy. It took a lot out of me, and I felt wiped. My sense is that it got me connected to what I was judging.
Time for forgiving:
1 – I forgive myself for judging myself for hating my humanity. I forgive myself for judging my mom as too weak to protect herself. I forgive.
2 – I let all of this go into a beautiful well of compassion. It is white & has the same essence of a smiley face.
3 – I am grateful for needing a biopsy and the learning it brought forward. I am grateful for going beyond my mind, beyond what I think I know … and experience the compassion of my heart.
***
Today, I took it easy. I really cared for myself …. Including going to a library. I haven’t been to a library in a long time; my mom used to take me there all the time. The experience awakened me to the compassion I almost always felt coming from my mom. I paused and received. And I cried.
What I know is that I am learning how to forgive, how to open myself to the gifts Spirit gives to me. What I know is that my mom would have been the first person to forgive the person who killed her. What I don’t know is how to forgive and forget…. yet.
I feel like I was gifted a deeper level of compassion with this experience of the PAP, how I responded, and the deeper remembrance of my mom’s blessings.
I love you. #Iforgive
Love,
Debbie
ps – this post is in response to Frank’s photo challenge of the week, Blue. Frank – my eyes were immediately drawn to that blue sign welcoming me to the public library, and I knew it was my key to forgiving for today. Thank you!
For a little more…. ♥
I love your blog
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It’s wonderful! I can see you on YouTube channel. I’m waiting for your next video. Blessing to you, Debbie. 🙂
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Oh thank you Hang! 💓 You are so sweet.
I have a YouTube channel with a lot of videos if you’d like to watch them. Sending so many blessings your way.
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You are an inspiration! Compassion seems to me to be a fine element of grace. Blessings to you!
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Oh thank you Anne! Blessings to you, my friend. Compassion and grace – love this. Like they are holding our hands through forgiving! I love you.
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It’s great to hear the words by yourself on YouTube ! Blessings to you.
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Oh Heike thank you! I love having your presence on my blog, you brighten my whole day!
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Thank you for your warm words 😊
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a wonderful remembrance
that this sweet life
is fleeting
so genuinely
forgive
sooner
than later 🙂
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You are a sweetheart. Thank you for your comment. Very happy to have you here. It is a sacred space to share about forgiving 💜💜
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WoW Debbie, what a life story. Congratulations on forgiving , moving on, visiting the library, like this post.
Appreciate life no matter what – then we can be happy.
have blessed day and blessed week and year.
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Oh thank you! Your comments mean a lot. So glad to know you and that you’re here. ☺
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Debbie I would love to feature this post on my Small Steps Up Mountains post tomorrow with your permission. It is truly inspiring. Thank you.
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Oh I would love this! Thank you. This touches me greatly. 💜
Many blessings your way.
Love
Debbie
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Brilliant. I have scheduled Small Steps Up Mountains for tomorrow at 6pm GMT. I am soo thankful. It is such an inspiring post. Blessings.
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This is so awesome. Thank you again, it really touches me. 💓 Blessings
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Debbie, you are such an inspiration. I cannot imagine the depth of pain you have experienced and yet are such a positive, compassionate, forgiving person. God bless you! I hope the biopsy results are negative. I, too, am awaiting for test results from a procedure I had this past week.
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Thank you Robin! Please let me know how your test results go. 😊 Sending many blessings of loving, grace and healing joy your way. So glad you are here!
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Thanks, Debbie. I’ll keep you posted.
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Good 😇💜
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Test results were normal 😊
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Yippee, Robin!!! My test results were normal too. ❤ Blessings my friend.
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Debbie! So nice to hear you speak forgiveness. Sending some positive energy over there, in hopes that you’re healing nicely.
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Thank you K E! I’m really enjoying doing the forgiving videos as another way to share wisdom and connection. 💜 I’m healing nicely, just feeling pretty tired. I appreciate your caring thanks!
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Great post, Debbie, love the way you combined color and compassion in this post,
Frank
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Thank you, Frank. It just sort of happened! Your challenges are such a lovely invitation to be creative through loving ☺
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Debbie, I love the way you turn an ordinary place like a library into a space of healing and an opportunity for compassion. Wishing you love and light on your continued journey to forgiveness. . xo
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Thank you, Miriam. The library brought forward such an experience of healing and compassion. It was like my mom giving me a personal blessing. 💜 Peace to you, Miriam
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How beautiful Debbie. I’m happy for you ♡
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Sending such ginormous hugs your way.
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Thank you Nikki! Love the word ginormous. And I receive. You are such a sweetheart ☺💜
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❤ I love that word too. I used to think it was made up!
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Your posts always keep my attention…and this is no exception. Loved it!
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Oh Kim, thank you. 💖 This touched me. I’m off to read yours soon!! Looking forward to it. Many blessings to you and continued loving to you mom.
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Great one Debbie, Love the Gandhi quote.
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Thanks, Steve – isn’t it amazing? I found it on the back of a children’s book at the library. How good to see. Blessings to you and Nikki
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This was so so poignant and touched me deeply. since when it comes to forgiveness and all that, i find it really hard to let go. I try to put it behind me and bury it but I never know how to let go. I never learned that art. I try but…
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Keep at it, Zee! I’m so glad that you’re here. 💖☺ Sending many blessings to you. Love
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Thanks a lot dear 💟😊
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Debbie– I kept scouring your post to hear that your biopsy came out OK, Let us know… Hoping and praying all is well, blob friend. God keep you. xo
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Oh thank you, Rhonda! The biopsy was negative. 😄 You are such a dear friend. Blessings 💜
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So glad to hear it Debbie. Thanking God with you. Here’s to healthy days ahead…
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