Today’s forgiving journal: Being OK with grief

Posted on by Forgiving Connects

Today’s forgiving journal is being ok with grief.

I’m aware that sometimes I want to move too fast out of a feeling of loss.

It’s ok to relax, let it come out, and keep my focus on loving.

There are a number of losses I’m grieving, and that is ok. The key is to know in my heart that I am whole, held, and blessed through it all.

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A fellow blogger Robin Baldwin shared her own story of forgiving in relationship.  It’s a gorgeous poem.

After she wrote it, Robin emailed me and said, “The process of writing it made me realize that I need to work on forgiving my loved one for not fighting harder to overcome a myriad of illnesses that affected our relationship. I still have a way to go, but I’ve now taken the first step that I didn’t even know I had to take. So thank you!”

Robin, thank you so much for your courage. See Robin’s poem below.

I am on my way to the funeral of a dear friend’s mother.  Just being there for one another (and for ourselves) can be the best forgiveness there is.

I love you.

Love,

Debbie

 

Elusive Forgiveness

It’s not the Alzheimer’s

The depression,

Or the headaches

That I can’t forgive.

It’s the essence of you

That disappeared throughout

These last thirtysomething years

That weighs on me,

Making it difficult for me to

Understand how you left.

All this time I’ve blamed

The illnesses, the meds, the doctors.

For not making you well,

Preventing me from talking

To you like we used to.

Never knowing how you would

Be feeling, it wasn’t safe to

Have honest conversations.

I became guarded, distant even,

To protect myself.

I have mourned you

While standing in front of me.

Why couldn’t you fight harder to stay?

Time is fleeting now

But forgiveness is elusive

Knowing that your mind

Can’t grasp what’s in

My heart.

37 thoughts on “Today’s forgiving journal: Being OK with grief”

  1. Thank you, Debbie, for sharing my story and poem. I hope it might be comforting for others who are going through similar situations. I’m sorry for your the loss of your friend’s mother.

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    1. Robin, there is so much depth to this poem- each line brings with it so much truth and emotion. It reminds us all the power and catharsis in writing. Thank you, Debbie for sharing it! You have a incredible way of connecting people on a beautifully human level! Thankful for you both.

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  3. What a beautiful poem and slideshow. Thank you! This post triggered the awareness in me that in place of accepting the grief, I had put myself under pressures. I am free to live more fully from my heart and connection with what is true for me.

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      1. God Anne, I so hear you. And YES, accepting the loss is significant – what a good distinction. ❤ Love your sharing and I'm sending many blessings your way for living in your heart and what is true for you. I love you!

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  4. So inspiring to read this! Thank you for sharing! Your posts are always full of positive energy Debbie, it’s always a pleasure reading them! Have a lovely day 🙂

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    1. Nikki, that is so true. When I read that comment, I felt so held by compassion. Thank you for your wisdom, for your loving heart, and for your caring. You make such a difference in this blogging community (and in my life personally). Blessings of loving your way and to Steve too. ❤

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