Today’s forgiving journal is about I Don’t Know.
I don’t know how to even start this blog. 🙂
OK, I can start with what’s present. I am feeling really vulnerable today. I am aware that someone hurt me deeply, or at least it feels that way (because truly, I’m the one who’s responsible for getting hurt). How do I forgive this person?
The answer I have inside is, “I don’t know.” Someone recently reminded me of the power of those three simple words. Why do I pretend to know how to solve something when I truly have no idea how to go about it? Maybe it gives me a false sense of safety, or comfort, or for sure – control. It’s time to let that go and open to the power of unknowing.
My spiritual mentor John-Roger has said something like, if we open to the divine unknowing, we can receive the grace of that. I’m open to receive grace, and learn more about what this is like for me.
What I’m aware of is that I keep wanting to say, “I know that I really need to forgive myself for judging, because all judgments start inside (rather than blaming the other person).” And I get strongly that this is not my path right now. At present, I just need to acknowledge that I blame this person. Just acknowledge it and ask for help so that I may be set free inside.
I’m going to do my 3-part forgiving process now:
1 – Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself for judging myself for blaming this person for my hurt. I forgive myself for judging myself for thinking that my process of forgiving has to look a certain way. I forgive myself for judging this person as having the power to hurt me.
2 – Letting go: I place all of this judgment….. the whole process of it …. Into the Light and I ask for forgiveness so that I may be clear on what is true for me, and to love it all.
3 – Gratitude: I reaffirm to myself that I am love. I reaffirm to myself that I have the power to choose love. I am grateful for learning how to trust myself to do this. I am grateful to this person for what this experience is teaching and showing me. Thank you.
The peace is truly within me. I have heard this, and right now, I believe it. I am relaxed, breathing deeply, and trusting that more peace is to come.
I found this great quote in my email recently on this very thing:
“Finding your peace is like looking for your keys. If you say to yourself, “I know they’re here somewhere,” you’re inviting yourself to find them.”
The truth … in the stillness of my heart …. Is that peace is seeking me as much as I am seeking it. A gift of grace starting from just saying, I don’t know.
I love you! Have a great day.