Today’s forgiving journal is about slowing down.

This morning, I tweeted a quote from my spiritual teacher.  It happens to be from a book on forgiveness!

“The physical world will always be a reflection. The inner world will always be a reality.”~John-Roger  (From: Forgiveness, The Key to the Kingdom)

One would think perhaps this would help me get the hint.

Well, it did and it didn’t.  I mean, I meditated this morning, I did some service work, I even stopped a few times to take in my surroundings and asked myself how I can choose love right in that moment.  And I also just did a lot today to take me out of the moment, too much coffee, too much thinking, too much cutting myself off from what was happening inside of me.

It wasn’t until I spoke with a friend that I really got it.  She was mentioning for me just to stay put where I am in NY, instead of flying back and forth to LA (where I lived before this).  I reacted with a healthy dose of resistance.  Undaunted, she just loved me.  And I relaxed and realized, wow!  I’d just been through a pretty big loss (details don’t matter).  I could truly provide myself a rest, a place inside to heal and to regroup and to just integrate my learnings gently, with love.

So here I am.  Just present.  Or, well, at least more present than I was before.  I am tuning inside, best I can.  I am giving myself space to just be with myself.  I am …. Doing the very best I can to slow down.

I am remembering now that when we slow down, we can truly listen within for that still, small voice that tells us the truth.  I guess I am really ready to listen.

I forgive myself for judging myself for wanting to distract myself from myself.  I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling a little scared  I forgive myself for judging myself for not trusting myself to get through the moments of despair and feelings of loss.  I give this all over to the loving so that I may step free.  And I am smiling RIGHT NOW in gratitude.  Whew.

In my Practical Treatise that I did for my Doctoral degree, I had 3 steps to forgiving: (1) forgive myself; (2) letting go; and (3) gratitude. I wrote them down each day.

I am slowing down that I might finally receive the gift of this forgiving process, even if it’s uncomfortable.  I’m ok with myself that it’s taken me this long (it’s been a few years), because I am doing it now.  And for this, I give my thankfulness.

Blessings to us all!  I’d love to hear how you do with this forgiving process if you would like to share.

Love,

Debbie